Star Wars: The Clone Wars - Written by Freelance

Director- Dave Filoni

Cast- Matt Lanter, Ashley Eckstein, James Arnold Taylor, Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Samuel L. Jackson, and Christopher Lee

MPAA- PG

Freelance rating- * out of *****

I remember when I was young and the ever so geeky exemplification of “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away” would bring awes of joy. At one point this meant something to me and several others who understood sentences such as, “Forgotten my lightsaber in the back of my mom's mini van, I have.” Today, there is a slight stale enjoyment when seeing this quote, so much so that it causes a natural agonizing reaction, and I find myself saying, “Ah, what the fuck is George Lucas up to now?”

If there is anything Star Wars has taught me it’s that good always triumphs over evil, that and you should always let the Wookiee win. In the newest effort to keep the dream of ‘77 going, Star Wars: The Clone Wars begins to show that good may not always triumph.

Placed in between the insipid Episode II and the ostensibly Episode III, The Clone Wars hits right at the height of the galaxy sized war. Instead of giving us the traditional Star Wars scroll after “A long time ago…” a voice over comes in as if there was a break out of illiteracy. Explained from the voice over it is a few months after the ignited battle on Geonosis (end of Ep. II), the Confederacy of Independent Systems and the Galactic Republic are at each others' throats. Droids against clone troopers. The Jedi Knights, Anakin (Matt Lanter) and Obi-Wan (James Arnold Taylor) are leading the offensive on Christophsis when they receive a delivery from a shuttle. The Jedi believe it to be reinforcements. It’s a young Padawan named Ahsoka Tano (Ashley Eckstein). She has been sent by Yoda to become Anakin’s new Jedi apprentice. After a raging fight on Christophsis, the hero Jedi are sent a dire message from Yoda. Jabba the Hutt’s young son, Rotta has been kidnapped by an unknown assailant and is being held in a prison fortress on the planet of Teth. Seeking to reach a deal with Jabba, Obi-Wan flies to Tatooine. In efforts to gain access of safe trade routes through the Outer Rim, the Galactic Republic will save his child and return him back to his father. In the meantime, Anakin and Ahsoka have already been sent to Teth to begin the recovery of Jabba’s son. The two are successful; unfortunately, they are set up by Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) of the Confederacy of Independent Systems. A misleading message is relayed to Jabba, who is to believe that the Jedi are going to kill Rotta. The traces of the set up lead deeper when it is discovered that a close relative of Jabba’s is seeking his power. It is up to Anakin and Ahsoka to get Rotta back and clear their names with the Tatooine Gangster.

Going into this film I had a real quagmire of auspiciousness. If someone were to ask me three or four months ago how this new Star Wars animated film was going to be, I would have said it looks like it may be decent. The main fact that I knew that Lucas was not part of the screenplay or direction raised my hopes. The weeks leading up to the release I still held a small candle of optimism. I saw a few trailers and noticed that less than an eighth of the original cast were providing voice acting to the film. My faith for the film was fading fast. Was this going to even come close to the previous three films?

The Clone Wars shows that with great power comes exuberant irresponsibility. Apparently, it’s worse to have Lucas on the back burner than handing the operation to someone else. Even though ESB and ROTJ were not helmed by Lucas, they turned out to be the best in the franchise (… well, in my opinion). I understand Clone Wars was intended to be for a younger audience. Though, in 2003 Genndy Tartakovsky created a short Star Wars series of the same name. It was an animated show premiering on Cartoon Network intended for a younger audience, and it was a DAMN fine show! I didn’t feel director Dave Filoni or writer Henry Gilroy even came close to hitting on the same feel of Tartakovsky, let alone Lucas. Instead they created a bland regurgitation, with a boner to toss together a new Star Wars concept, and skip out on a genius plot development. True, the film is suppose to be a side note to the underlining event of a new TV animated series. From what Lucas saw of the first specs of the show he believed this would be great for the big screen, first. I guess so did his wallet? There is a sense of originality but this comes off more as a hindrance than an enjoyment. The pesky squabbles between Anakin and Ahsoka, the lame droid jokes, and just the weak character development in general makes the movie more of a cinematic cold sore upon the franchise lips. I haven’t even hit on the animation. I didn’t mind this art style to an extent. With the prequels being about 85% CGI; what would be the problem of having it 100%? Nothing. If it wasn’t for a disjointed effort of some of the major lightsaber battle scenes. Another thing I noticed that bugged me, was the art style of the background atmosphere. The animation was being done one way and it looked as though the surrounding skylines were done by a water color Impressionist of the 19th Century. This wasn’t such a bad thing, but kept on taking my attention off the story development.

In certain situations a show series may attempt to introduce new characters to win back appeal. Case in point examples are Scrappy Doo, James Franco as the new Green Goblin, and (how could I leave him out…) Jar-Jar Binks. I have no idea why this is called for, Star Wars is popular just for being Star Wars. The Clone Wars strikes not one new introduction, but two. Ahsoka Tano is essentially the annoying Kimmy Gibbler from the early 90s TV show, Full House. Anakin nicknames her Snips (which sounds like the nickname I would give to a Jewish Rabbi), seemingly for her snippy attitude. She gives everything a cute little girly flair, such as calling Anakin, “Sky Guy,” R2-D2, “R-Twoiee,” and Jabba’s son, “Stinky.” Not to mention the ever so dry one liners that her and Anakin rally back and forth with. Just as I was getting kind of use to the one annoying character, the call for “Truman Capote” the Hutt was introduced. His real name is Ziro and he is Jabba’s uncle. If you can imagine Jabba as a flamboyant cross dresser, you have Ziro. I can only take so much from a animated family film, when it seems like they are just now pulling things from their ass, “To get pissed I start. Yes.”

I really hate saying that this movie was awful, but the truth is that it’s much worse than the low points of Episode I and II. It's worse than Jake Lloyd’s performance, and worse than putting Hayden Christensen’s mug over David Prowse in the 2005 re-edited ROTJ. I honestly can not see other true fans of the series enjoy this. Though it may work as the kids TV show it is intend for, but as for the movie… miss it like Greedo’s phony first shot.