"Igor" Review - Written by TonyD

“Igor”
2008
** out of ****
Director: Anthony Leondis
Cast: John Cusack, Molly Shannon, Steve Buscemi


Instead of writing an actual review for an animated children’s film called “Igor,” which you could read on almost any movie site other than mine, why don’t I talk about just how this movie could have changed from a two star rating to a possibly three star rating, or even better, a four star?

Let me just give a quick summary of the plot in case if I have to refer to it later in my review. In a town called Malaria begins a change of climate, and the King (Jay Leno) proposes that the only way the climate could change back to normal is if these evil scientists create these new inventions. The evil scientists have these lab assistants called Igors with humps on their backs and shouldn’t have to do anything other than being a guinea-pig for the assignments. One particular Igor (John Cusack) wants to become an evil scientist and invent the perfect “villain” so he can participate in an evil scientist fair and win the top prize. His plan is to create a singing and dancing Molly Shannon.

I couldn’t even come up with a better joke for that.

I’ll begin right now by bringing up a few of the supporting characters here. One character, voiced by Steve Buscemi, was a rabbit who was once dead, but after our main Igor brings him back to life, he becomes cynical and wishing that the Igor that brought him back to life had left him dead. The man hates everything that life has to offer him, and now he can’t even off himself properly. Jennifer Coolidge plays a woman character who fucks almost anything that moves to get her way, making her way to the top like such well-known celebrities as Traci Lords and Paris Hilton. The only difference is that Stifler’s mom isn’t starring in any porn.

But hold up – I thought I was watching a children’s movie. For god’s sakes, this isn’t something that I want to show my five year old brother. If the film was just the least bit dramatic, it could have passed for an animated Lifetime TV film of the week. And while watching this movie, I kind of drew up the conclusion as to why some children are so fucking violent.

And if it wasn’t for someone like Igor, we would have no one to root for throughout the movie. If you watch “Igor,” you will look at the film as being nothing more than a less serious version of Alfonso Cuaron’s “Children of Men.” To these people, there is no hope for the climate to get better, but they can sure as hell try by being evil. Try to imagine if America was really like this for a second. Can’t you picture Sarah Palin raging through the streets of Pennsylvania on the day after Election Day? Or how about young Miley Cyrus, taking off her suit and revealing that she is really a thirty year old guy and killing every one of the Jonas Brothers?

Actually, the second one doesn’t sound too bad.

But in all seriousness…

But do you know what could make this film fucking twenty times better? If it had a little bit of MEAT on its bones! And what would I like better than to see Tim Burton taking on Tim Burton-like material?! But don’t think that I mean that I want to see another “Nightmare Before Christmas” film. I know before who think that the film is like a new God and shit, but I don’t really see the appeal. I’m also not even looking for the Burton who directed “Corpse Bride,” “Sweeney Todd,” “Batman,” or “Beetlejuice.” This film would have been perfect for the Burton that directed “Edward Scissorhands.”

Because if you look very closely, “Igor” is almost like a fairy-tale, just darker and for older children who know what the words “suicidal maniac” and “been around the block” means. But there is no reason, and I mean NO REASON, why we should have the guy who directed a direct-to-video “Lilo and Stitch” movie to direct a film like “Igor.” This is one of the few guys who have told me that the word “O’hana” meant family, which in return meant no one should be left behind. So why should I have a guy who directed a kid’s movie with a powerful message like that direct a movie which has a more powerful message on the complete opposite end of the spectrum.

This review isn’t like I’m just going to murder the thing. If you look at my rating, I gave it two stars, so you know THAT has to be a good thing right? Like most animated children flicks, this one has a lot to offer with the cast, such as Cusack, Shannon, Buscemi, Leno, John Cleese, Arsenio Hall, and Christian Slater. It moves at a good enough pace that I was never bored either. The eighty minute film felt like it was only forty minutes. The ending also ended on a happy note too, which I guess could always be a good thing.

There’s a lot to offer when you go into the film, but there is also a lot left desired when you walk out. “Igor” has a great cast that is filled to the top with talent, but some stuff isn’t as suitable for some people as it should be. From what I hear, an “Igor 2” is in production. If film companies really want to make this film work, they should follow my three steps: 1. Have Tim Burton direct. 2. Have Johnny Depp take over the role of the main Igor. 3. Danny Elfman kicks everyone out of the music department and does his own stuff.

And perhaps “Igor 2” may be better than its predecessor.