"Hatchet Jack" Review Written by TonyD

“Hatchet Jack”
2008
** out of ****
Director: Eddie Mahalick
Cast: Aaron Bernard, Shayna Hickman, Rebecca Hartley


Original.

Whenever I look at films like “Evil Dead” that defined the “cabin-in-the-woods” genre, I think of the word ‘original.’ I watch a film like “Hatchet,” and I immediately think that it’s original, just because it has a kind of satire that other “cabin-in-the-woods” films couldn’t reach. And even films that weren’t “cabin-in-the-woods” that only took place in the woods, like “The Blair Witch Project,” are films that I consider original.

“Hatchet Jack” and ‘original’ go together just as well as Amy Winehouse and Grammys… and I’m STILL trying to figure that one out.

As I’m typing this, I sat through “Hatchet Jack” twice and I still thought the same exact thing. Hell, I saw it about twenty more times in other movies. It’s one thing if you’re ripping off a movie and you succeed in being better than the movie that you’re ripping off (Quentin Tarantino did it six times and my wiener got bigger every time after the other), but it’s one thing if you’re ripping off of a group of movies and you’re getting nowhere. For a film like “Hatchet Jack,” it should have been scarier and less perverted. I like to pop out a saying like “That’s what she said” every once in a blue moon, but I know when to stop. Well, at least I think I do.

“Hatchet Jack” is a lot like “Evil Dead,” “Cabin Fever,” and “Friday the 13th.” If you know what they’re about, I shouldn’t have to tell you. But I know some people around here who haven’t seen them, so I might as well explain – four teenagers (Aaron Bernard, Shayna Hickman, Rebecca Hartley, Mike Valley) go out camping and partying in the woods. There is supposedly a guy named Hatchet Jack living in the woods, but no one believes the rumors. Until he shows up, that is.

One of the two things I can really give the movie props for is its atmosphere. While they hang out in the woods, you are just annoyed, but the only reason why you’re still watching it is because of the setting. The woods are claustrophobic and you can definitely see the signs on how something has happened here before the movie began.

The second thing that I can give the movie props for is the outstanding direction by Eddie Mahalick. He gets a feel for that film, a sort of feel as if we all know that something frightening will happen. It’s too bad though. He does a better job behind the camera than in front of it.

Among the many problems in the story is the non-linear storyline. Many people know how much I like a non-linear storyline, and that is one of my many weaknesses watching films (except for “Mad Money,” which was more of a fucking nightmare than a movie), but even “Hatchet Jack” can’t seem to get its own storyline right. There were a few more problems with the script, the characters were poorly-developed, and the acting was the kind of acting that you would see in a straight-up softcore movie on Cinemax… and yes, I’m the first movie reviewer to ever use “straight-up” in a sentence.

“Hatchet Jack” should have been MUCH better. It had the potential to do better, but not every one can be Sam Raimi… or Adam Green, for that matter.