Welcome to Reviews from the Horror Chamber. I am your chamber keeper, Anthony Thurber. Love to rant, but I have three big movies this week to review, so on to the reviews.
Diary of the Dead
Director: George A. Romero
Stars: Joshua Close, Michelle Morgan, Scott Wentworth
MPAA Rating: R
Studio: Dimension Extreme
Running Time: 95 Mins
Review Rating: 5 Stars
Official Website: http://www.myspace.com/diaryofthedead
Diary of the Dead is the latest film in the zombie saga from director Ge
orge Romero. The film is about a group of filmmakers who are shooting a student film in the middle of the woods. Everything is going fine until they hear the news that there are zombies are terrorizing people everywhere to the point that nowhere is safe. The director of the student film starts to become obsessed with documenting all the events that are taking place. Along with his crew, they try find a place of safety, as the zombies have returned to walk the earth and it’s all there to be documented.
After watching this film, I can clearly say that one of the true masters of horror is back and better than ever. This film also serves proof that if you let your director that can direct without any interference, the product of the film will be great, like this film.
Diary of the Dead is truly one of the year’s best films both horror wise and in general this year. Writer/Director
George A. Romero truly directed a cult classic here. One of the things that I personally liked about this was the fact he focused on a lot of things with the current events going on today and integrating it into the story. His direction was great. I liked how Romero uses different types of filming methods like the hand held cams, surveillance footage, and fake news footage to describe and to capture the action on film. It helps the plot of a story that you’ve seen before become original, all of a sudden. His direction of the actors was very good. Romero makes sure that his actors come off as frighten and scared in front of the camera. It helps add to the hysteria that is taking place around them. Also, Romero was also good in the tone in which the narration dialogue was delivered. It helps add to the gloom and doom atmosphere that this movie is projecting. The lead performance from Michelle Morgan was very good. Her performance comes off like Sara Connor like, especially in the narration of the film. 
Romero’s screenplay focuses on the various issues that help bring the darkness to this film. He does a great job integrating the issues that haunt this country today. Romero covers everything from Katrina, the media and everyone’s obsession of documenting everything on camera and then posting themselves on the Internet like on youtube and myspace. Also, he takes shots on George Bush and Texas alike, as one of the characters in the film is from that state. While amidst on trying to focus these issues, he also does a good job developing the filmmaker’s obsession with trying to get everything on film. Romero’s shows how his obsession is losing touch with his girlfriend and his friends through out the film, as the project has taken over his life to the point he’s just a passer by who stops and observers the chaos. Also, I liked how the story is told through the character’ filmmaker’s girlfriend instead of the filmmaker. It brings another person’s view to the events that were occurring in the film and it makes the view of the film compelling.
Diary of the Dead is truly a cult classic that can be added into the legacy of one of the greatest horror filmmakers ever, George A. Romero.
One Missed Call
Year: 2008
Director: Eric Valette
Stars: Shannyn Sossamon, Edward Burns, Megan Good
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Studio: Warner Brothers
Running Time: 87 Mins
Review Rating: Zero Stars
(Please take this Review as a Public Service Announcement)
Well, I gave you’ people a list of films to choose from, in which I would review the winning film. Here are the results, in last place with no votes is the remake to April Fools Day (thankfully I’m glad, because that was probably going to suck anyway). In fourth was Teeth with one vote. There was a tie for second as both Botched (which I’ll review next week and Zombie Strippers (which is in this edition as I couldn’t turn down a film with that title) received two votes. So that means you guys have chosen and decided to torture me with One Missed Call as the film that received the most votes with three.
One Missed Call is a remake of 2003 Japanese film called Chakushin Ari
. The film is about several teens that are starting to receive mysterious phone calls from a mysterious source. In these phone calls, the calls themselves include some mysterious details that include the date, time, and the details in the way they die. A psychology student (Shannyn Sossamon) and a detective (Edward Burns (yes that Edward Burns that burst on to the scene with the Brother’s McMullen)) must find out the causes of these strange deaths as one of them has received that mysterious phone call that might put both of their lives in jeopardy.
First off, I would like to know the three people who asked for me to review the film, so that I could ask them if they wanted me to review it so I could rip it up to shreds. Because if that's what you wanted me to do, then you got it. One Missed Call should be One and a Half Missed Hours of My Life because this film has no logic and is un-releasable. This film is one of the WORST FILMS IN THE HISTORY OF MODERN CINEMA and it’s also the first to receive the dreaded Zero Stars. Director Eric Valette should have his fucking head examined because according to the film’s trivia on IMDB.com he has never seen the original and had instructed the film’s cast not to see it either. Hello, this is a remake; the origi
nal is supposed to be used as a tool so it can help the actors in their preparation. His direction of the actors was horrible as the actors made their character uninteresting and very boring and yes that’s on the director. So fuck you Eric Valette for directing a piece of shit. Also why the fuck is Edward Burns doing in this film. Isn’t there any other independent projects that he could act or direct instead of doing this piece of shit. For fuck sakes, you were in such high profile movies like 15 Minutes and recently in 27 Dresses. Why are you associated with this film?
The screenplay is even worse. I have five words for the writer Andrew Kalan’s screenplay for this piece of crap. Dreadfully Awful and Worst Screenplay EVER. This is the guy that wrote the screenplay to A Shock to the System back in 1990 and wrote the books Don’t Say A Word and True Crime? Hello, did you forget to write a coherent story because there is
none here, without an attempt to write one. Kalan also doesn’t spend time getting to know any of the characters, as once you get to meet them they end up getting killed off five minutes later. He also neglects spending any time trying to develop a backstory, as he only spends and I quote “one minute on the backstory before he has kill off his first character two minutes later that’s just there to get killed off." And Mr. Kalan your film had no suspense what so ever, as all the character deaths were unsuspenseful and very predictable. Before I end this fucking review, I just want to say that the last ten minutes of the film is the worst ending to a horror film ever. It was very anti-climactic and very boring. So fuck you Andrew Kalan for writing this piece of crap.
orge Romero. The film is about a group of filmmakers who are shooting a student film in the middle of the woods. Everything is going fine until they hear the news that there are zombies are terrorizing people everywhere to the point that nowhere is safe. The director of the student film starts to become obsessed with documenting all the events that are taking place. Along with his crew, they try find a place of safety, as the zombies have returned to walk the earth and it’s all there to be documented.After watching this film, I can clearly say that one of the true masters of horror is back and better than ever. This film also serves proof that if you let your director that can direct without any interference, the product of the film will be great, like this film.
Diary of the Dead is truly one of the year’s best films both horror wise and in general this year. Writer/Director
George A. Romero truly directed a cult classic here. One of the things that I personally liked about this was the fact he focused on a lot of things with the current events going on today and integrating it into the story. His direction was great. I liked how Romero uses different types of filming methods like the hand held cams, surveillance footage, and fake news footage to describe and to capture the action on film. It helps the plot of a story that you’ve seen before become original, all of a sudden. His direction of the actors was very good. Romero makes sure that his actors come off as frighten and scared in front of the camera. It helps add to the hysteria that is taking place around them. Also, Romero was also good in the tone in which the narration dialogue was delivered. It helps add to the gloom and doom atmosphere that this movie is projecting. The lead performance from Michelle Morgan was very good. Her performance comes off like Sara Connor like, especially in the narration of the film. 
Romero’s screenplay focuses on the various issues that help bring the darkness to this film. He does a great job integrating the issues that haunt this country today. Romero covers everything from Katrina, the media and everyone’s obsession of documenting everything on camera and then posting themselves on the Internet like on youtube and myspace. Also, he takes shots on George Bush and Texas alike, as one of the characters in the film is from that state. While amidst on trying to focus these issues, he also does a good job developing the filmmaker’s obsession with trying to get everything on film. Romero’s shows how his obsession is losing touch with his girlfriend and his friends through out the film, as the project has taken over his life to the point he’s just a passer by who stops and observers the chaos. Also, I liked how the story is told through the character’ filmmaker’s girlfriend instead of the filmmaker. It brings another person’s view to the events that were occurring in the film and it makes the view of the film compelling.
Diary of the Dead is truly a cult classic that can be added into the legacy of one of the greatest horror filmmakers ever, George A. Romero.
One Missed CallYear: 2008
Director: Eric Valette
Stars: Shannyn Sossamon, Edward Burns, Megan Good
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Studio: Warner Brothers
Running Time: 87 Mins
Review Rating: Zero Stars
(Please take this Review as a Public Service Announcement)
Well, I gave you’ people a list of films to choose from, in which I would review the winning film. Here are the results, in last place with no votes is the remake to April Fools Day (thankfully I’m glad, because that was probably going to suck anyway). In fourth was Teeth with one vote. There was a tie for second as both Botched (which I’ll review next week and Zombie Strippers (which is in this edition as I couldn’t turn down a film with that title) received two votes. So that means you guys have chosen and decided to torture me with One Missed Call as the film that received the most votes with three.
One Missed Call is a remake of 2003 Japanese film called Chakushin Ari
. The film is about several teens that are starting to receive mysterious phone calls from a mysterious source. In these phone calls, the calls themselves include some mysterious details that include the date, time, and the details in the way they die. A psychology student (Shannyn Sossamon) and a detective (Edward Burns (yes that Edward Burns that burst on to the scene with the Brother’s McMullen)) must find out the causes of these strange deaths as one of them has received that mysterious phone call that might put both of their lives in jeopardy.First off, I would like to know the three people who asked for me to review the film, so that I could ask them if they wanted me to review it so I could rip it up to shreds. Because if that's what you wanted me to do, then you got it. One Missed Call should be One and a Half Missed Hours of My Life because this film has no logic and is un-releasable. This film is one of the WORST FILMS IN THE HISTORY OF MODERN CINEMA and it’s also the first to receive the dreaded Zero Stars. Director Eric Valette should have his fucking head examined because according to the film’s trivia on IMDB.com he has never seen the original and had instructed the film’s cast not to see it either. Hello, this is a remake; the origi
nal is supposed to be used as a tool so it can help the actors in their preparation. His direction of the actors was horrible as the actors made their character uninteresting and very boring and yes that’s on the director. So fuck you Eric Valette for directing a piece of shit. Also why the fuck is Edward Burns doing in this film. Isn’t there any other independent projects that he could act or direct instead of doing this piece of shit. For fuck sakes, you were in such high profile movies like 15 Minutes and recently in 27 Dresses. Why are you associated with this film?The screenplay is even worse. I have five words for the writer Andrew Kalan’s screenplay for this piece of crap. Dreadfully Awful and Worst Screenplay EVER. This is the guy that wrote the screenplay to A Shock to the System back in 1990 and wrote the books Don’t Say A Word and True Crime? Hello, did you forget to write a coherent story because there is
none here, without an attempt to write one. Kalan also doesn’t spend time getting to know any of the characters, as once you get to meet them they end up getting killed off five minutes later. He also neglects spending any time trying to develop a backstory, as he only spends and I quote “one minute on the backstory before he has kill off his first character two minutes later that’s just there to get killed off." And Mr. Kalan your film had no suspense what so ever, as all the character deaths were unsuspenseful and very predictable. Before I end this fucking review, I just want to say that the last ten minutes of the film is the worst ending to a horror film ever. It was very anti-climactic and very boring. So fuck you Andrew Kalan for writing this piece of crap. Before I end this review Eric Valette and Andrew Kalan, you guys both owe me $3.99, the price of the on-demand rental, because I should be refunded for watching this trash. You can contact me at anthonythurber@filmarcade.net. Please pay me and I hope to never see you two near a film again because One Missed Call is one of the worst films of all time. It’s simply just fucking piece of un-releasable crap. [Editor's note: Which explains why it was the first film released in 2008, eh?]
Zombie StrippersYear: 2008
Director: Jay Lee
Stars: Robert Englund, Jenna Jamerson, Roxy Saint
MPAA Rating: R
Studio: Sony Pictures / Scream HQ
Running Time: 94 Mins
Yes, I’m not kidding. There is actually a movie that was just recently released in theaters and currently playing On Demand with the title and I quote Zombie Strip
pers! It’s the follow-up film from director Jay Lee, who directed The Slaughter (which I recommend, you check from Lionsgate) back in 2006. The film takes place in the not so distant future where a virus gets released into an ultra-conservative state, where the town’s underground strip club is run by a slimy owner (Robert Engund). Soon the virus starts spreading into his strip club where it turns the beautiful women into super zombie stripers. Soon the women and the employees, who work at the strip-club must try and fend off these zombies b
efore they end up getting infected and joining these super zombie strippers (sorry about that, had to say one time). Hopefully this film will be better than I tried to make it, in the plot synopsis. Oh, by the way Adult Film superstar Jenna Jamerson co-headlines this film with Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Behind the Mask).
Check your brain at the door because Zombie Strippers is great grindhouse fun. This is one of those films that I had very little interest going, but enjoyed this film for what it was worth Writer/ Director Jay Lee does it again, as this was very fun to watch. He does a great job with the direction and the screenplay, as they were both were very good. Lee does a good job keeping the action moving with good special effects and good camera movement. The acting is this was good considering the material here, as this felt like one of those exploitation horror films with humor added in.
The screenplay was very good here. Lee does a great job spoofing the c
urrent political climate here, as it takes shots at a lot of thing including the current president, corporate greed and the stupidity of our government. He added some very surprising good humor, as they were funny and helped make this film fun. Also, the thing that surprised me most was film. I was actually a little surprised that happened because it the fact; Lee spends developing the story before the fun and cheesiness kicks into this showed me that amidst the fun that goes with grindhouse films like these, you still can develop an effective story because it was at least a good fifteen minutes or more before we actually get into the strip club.
pers! It’s the follow-up film from director Jay Lee, who directed The Slaughter (which I recommend, you check from Lionsgate) back in 2006. The film takes place in the not so distant future where a virus gets released into an ultra-conservative state, where the town’s underground strip club is run by a slimy owner (Robert Engund). Soon the virus starts spreading into his strip club where it turns the beautiful women into super zombie stripers. Soon the women and the employees, who work at the strip-club must try and fend off these zombies b
efore they end up getting infected and joining these super zombie strippers (sorry about that, had to say one time). Hopefully this film will be better than I tried to make it, in the plot synopsis. Oh, by the way Adult Film superstar Jenna Jamerson co-headlines this film with Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Behind the Mask).Check your brain at the door because Zombie Strippers is great grindhouse fun. This is one of those films that I had very little interest going, but enjoyed this film for what it was worth Writer/ Director Jay Lee does it again, as this was very fun to watch. He does a great job with the direction and the screenplay, as they were both were very good. Lee does a good job keeping the action moving with good special effects and good camera movement. The acting is this was good considering the material here, as this felt like one of those exploitation horror films with humor added in.
The screenplay was very good here. Lee does a great job spoofing the c
urrent political climate here, as it takes shots at a lot of thing including the current president, corporate greed and the stupidity of our government. He added some very surprising good humor, as they were funny and helped make this film fun. Also, the thing that surprised me most was film. I was actually a little surprised that happened because it the fact; Lee spends developing the story before the fun and cheesiness kicks into this showed me that amidst the fun that goes with grindhouse films like these, you still can develop an effective story because it was at least a good fifteen minutes or more before we actually get into the strip club.I hope there’s an unrated version for this film, as Zombie Strippers will make want to hang out with these girls, as it blood curling effects and hot luscious babes.
If you’re a filmmaker and interested in having your horror film reviewed in the horror chamber, you can reach the Chamber Keeper himself at horrorchamber@filmarcade.net or if you have any film in any genres that you want Film Arcade to review, send us an email at screeners@filmarcade.net.
Also, don’t forget to add the official myspace home of Reviews From the Horror Chamber at http://www.myspace.com/reviewsfromthehorchamber.
I’ll be back next Sunday with a new edition containing my reviews of Botched and Timber Falls. Until then, have a frightening day.
Also, don’t forget to add the official myspace home of Reviews From the Horror Chamber at http://www.myspace.com/reviewsfromthehorchamber.
I’ll be back next Sunday with a new edition containing my reviews of Botched and Timber Falls. Until then, have a frightening day.
I did like Diary Of The Dead too.
I skipped One Missed Call-- it just looks wretched.
I have yet to see any of these films. I own DIARY OF THE DEAD to complete my collection and this is the most positive review I've read for it. I'm glad to know it's worth watching. I definitely want to see ZOMBIE STRIPPERS for Jenna Jameson alone. Plus the premise is actually pretty funny. And ONE MISSED CALL can't cut a break. I want to see this just so I could rip it a new A-hole. No one I know has liked this film. Wow...
Great reviews.