"The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror" Review - Written by Mathius Mack Gertz

Title: The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror
Review Date: September, 2008
Year: 2007
Director/Writer: Jaymes Thompson
Starring: Derek Long as Mike
Mari Marks as Helen
Vinny Markus as Dom
Noah Naylor as Manfred
Jim Polivka as Rodney
Allie Rivenbark as Brenda
Hilary Schwartz as Starr
Michael Soldier as Alex
Maria Tomas as Anetta
MPAA Rating: UNRATED
Studio: MoDean Pictures
Distributor: Ariztical Entertainment
Running time: 115 Minutes original
Official Website: http://www.ariztical.com/

First a warning: If you are reading this review because you want to rent a really scary horror movie that will make you lover jump into your arms with fright…this is not the one. On the other hand, and regardless of your sexuality, if you like to watch biting comedic satire that skewers gays, lesbians, straights, religion, zealots, George W. Bush, the Republican party, B & B’s, drag queens, Nancy Sinatra, fag hags, homemade muffins, and references a host of horror films that you know well, TGBBOT is your kind of movie. Basically, this is Scary Movie (2000) meets The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) without most of the songs but with a lot of excellent makeup and effects (Anthony Gordon, Gage Hubbard, and Tom Devlin)…and a Divine look-a-like (Michael Soldier).

On the eve of the biggest gay party weekend of the year, The Blue Party, and having not made advance reservations, five ‘couples’ find themselves having to make accommodations far from Club Odyssey. There’s Dom and Alex, the ‘performers’ (Vinny Markus & Michael Soldier) and Deborah and Gabby, the sophisticated, entrepreneurial ‘lipsticks’ (Shannon Lee & Denise Heller). There’s also Mike and Eric, the upscale ‘guppie’ power couple (Derek Long & Robert Borzych) and their annoying ‘fag-hag’ friend, Lizette (Lisa Block-Wieser). Also checking in are Starr and Brenda, the struggling folk singer and tough-talking tomboy (Hilary Schwartz & Allie Rivenbark) and lastly Rodney and Todd, the sugar daddy and ‘personal trainer’ (Jim Polivka & James Tolins). What should have been the biggest gay party weekend of the year quickly turns into every gay and lesbian’s worst nightmare!

Helen (Mari Marks) the God-fearing owner of the establishment wants to convert a gay man to heterosexuality and marry him to her daughter Luella (Georgia Jean) in order to save her from lesbianism and Hell. But Helen needs to eliminate the witnesses to her scheme. With the help of her deformed bastard son Manfred (Noah Naylor), left over from a gang bang with the local Republican club, they kill most of the house guests and….well you get the point. “Don’t dream it, be it!” Muffin darling?

The political satire is at times biting. There are no sacred cows here. The film references are like playing Jeopardy. Sometimes they come so quick and fast you can’t keep up. The writer, Jaymes Thompson, obviously knows his material. The dialog is right on point and pointed albeit over the top from time to time.

This film represents the freshman feature outing for director/writer Thompson. Obviously a low budget venture, he did a lot with what he had and managed to get a crop of darn good actors to pull it off. The title and story are a thinly veiled allegory to the “terror” that is the Religious Right. Mr. Thompson is saying, “Watch out or they are going to get you too.” Very timely with Governor Sarah Palin (R. Alaska) in the national spot light these days.

Harkening back to a number of early John Waters projects, Multiple Maniacs (1970) and Desperate Living (1977) come to mind, rough production combines with a well devised script, crisp dialog and good directing. If Mr. Thompson can follow up to The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror with an equally biting and insightful script, there is the potential here to be looking at the first work of a new John Waters. And God knows we could sure use one these days.

Run right out, rent this little gem and share it with your friends. Unless of course your friends are John McCain and Dick Cheney.