Reviews From the Horror Chamber - Lonely Joe, Cowboy Killer, How My Dad Killed Dracula

Welcome to Reviews From the Horror Chamber.

Yours truly has been so busy, it’s been unbelievable. But I have a contest that will get your attention. The Film Arcade prize closet is getting cleaned out, I’ve managed to find a couple of DVD that I want to get rid off. I have three, very good horror films that need a home. These films are:

Epitaph



Bikini Bloodbath Carwash



GIMME SKELTER



I'm giving all three of these films away, to one lucky winner. To enter you can email me to horrorchamber@filmarcade.net Please Include your Name, Address. Contest is opened to US residents only. Contest Ends, Monday, June 29th.

If you don’t win that, you will be entered to win one of two copies of “Epitaph” that we have in addition to this contest.

Lonely Joe
Year: 2009
Director: Michael Coonce
Studio: Nufilm Entertainment
Stars: Erica Leerhsen, Peter Speech, David Fine
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Running Time: 96 Mins
Official Website: http://www.lonelyjoethemovie.com/


"Lonely Joe” is inspired on a true story. The film is about a female reporter (Erica Leerhsen), who returns to hometown ten years after her brother murdered near the railroad tracks by a serial killer. She returns there, to investigate what happened to her brother and the disappearance of thirty people, since her brother’s death. Her attempts to find the truth are constantly impeded, by a local sheriff (Peter Speech). He’s hiding details about the rash disappearances and wants to keep it quiet. He sends his deputies to try to get her leave, but she’s desperate to find out the truth

As she attempts to find out more about the truth, she begins to question her own sanity. Now the deeper she gets into this local legend, she discover what’s haunting these railroad tracks that may provide answer to her questions or drive her to the breaking point.

For a horror film that has an actress that has been in such films as “Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows” and “Wrong Turn 2”, this didn’t feel like the horror film that it was advertised to be. It felt like a dull and unsuspenseful film.

“Lonely Joe is a boring horror film that plays out like procedural disappearance film. Director Michael Coonce doesn’t do anything to make the material interesting. His direction was bland. He doesn’t do a good job adding any life to any of the action that goes on. I felt like, I was watching the same scene over and over again. It really felt like one of those films that was made for lifetime or something, because those film have the same tone that make it boring to watch. The acting was also made for TV like. All the actors in the film didn’t seemed interested with this material. There was no life, in these characters. They all have the same tone that made disinterest, in their characters. You can’t have it, in these types of films. That’s why, “The Alphabet Killer” wasn’t that good, and it’s also why this film wasn’t that good.

The Screenplay written Michael and Michelle Coonce was very dull and convoluted. One of the main reasons for that, there is no attempt, on their part to make the main character engaging. It hurts the film, because nothing happens for most of the time to the point where it was going nowhere. I would have liked it more, if it went into her family life or the legend about the roadtracks. It would have been better instead of every scene featuring the lead character being intimidated by the cops. Also, the ending was very bad. It would have been nice, if they fully explained the lonely Joe character fully, during the course of the film. By the time they fully explained it, I lost interest in the character. That’s why, if you want to fully develop a clearer picture of your legend, you do it, in the beginning or the middle of the film. It just feels misplaced.

Lonely Joe is a dreadful horror film that goes the route that other horror films based on true events do, where the characters and events aren’t interesting enough to grap your attention.

To purchase a copy of this film, you can goto: http://www.lonelyjoethemovie.com/

Review Rating: One Star

Cowboy Killer
Year: 2008
Director: Jason Baustin
Stars: Paul Bailey, David L. Buckler, Chris Kennedy
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Studio: Cacchiotti Productions
Running Time: 80 Mins
Official Website: http://www.cowboykillerthemovie.com/


"Cowboy Killer” is the first feature film from director Jason Baustin. The film is about Roy, a cowboy looking for a lady for one last hurrah. Along the way, Roy begins to lose his mind and everything that he imagines becomes a runaway seed, as he goes on a killing spree. Now, there are a lot of angry people that want to get their hands on old Roy. They include cops, cable guys, serial killer, stripper, bartender, waitress and an old man that want to take the law into their own hands before more chaos happens. Roy is now forced to into a showdown with these people, if he wants ride off into the sunset.

There are some horror films that I review this site, where I say that a film really deserves distribution and being viewed by a wider audience. This is defiantly not one of those films, as this falls into the category of films that makes no sense at all.

“Cowboy Killer”, from start to finish is a poorly acted and poorly conceived film.. Baustin falls into the trap that many first-time directors go though, as this felt like an amateur film at times. He doesn’t do a good job with the pacing of the film. The film’s pacing moves too fast, as it becomes quickly one of those hack and slash films, where the violence and the T & A becomes the central focus of the story, while the story itself becomes nonexistent. That just makes a film, very hard to sit through. If that weren’t the least of Baustin problems, the direction of the actors was just awful. He really needs to hone in on the actor’s performances next time around, as it comes off, as very amateurish. You had actors and actresses that were not bringing any personality to their characters, as I was not buying any of the performances.

The screenplay written by Baustin, Ben Solenberger, and Jaymes Camery was just horrible. There was no attempt to create a coherent story or character development, as the screenplay just focuses on how many deaths that they can cram into an eighty-minute film. But the major problem with this screenplay was the way into spends too much time with the ultra violence and horrible dialogue. Both of those were major turn offs for me. The violence got overly redundant, as it didn’t help advance the story. It was just there, so that people who love watching gory movies, will get a kick out of it. The dialogue was just poorly written, as it made all the characters stupid and the villain, very annoying. I’ve seen better grindhouse type films then this.

Cowboy Killer is a film that should stayed in the barnyards, as it felt very amateurish and there was no attempt for an entertaining story.

The film is now available On Demand. Check your local cable company.

Review Rating: One Star.

How My Dad Killed Dracula
Year: 2009
Director: Sky Soleil
Stars: Daniel Roebuck, Neil Hopkins,
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Studio: Tell Tale Productions
Running Time: 14 Mins
Official Website: http://www.hmdkd.net/

“How My Dad Killed Dracula” is a family short film that takes place on Halloween night, where a group of young kids are hanging out at a cousin’s house. The father (Daniel Roebuck) of cousin tells the kids that he had an epic encounter with the legendary Dracula. The kids not believing him, ask him to dig the hole, where he buried Dracula’s remains. Soon, this turns a family tradition of Halloween practical joke into a comic night of terror, or does it?

Family films are usually a hard sell for me. But “How My Dad Killed Dracula” is a funny and entertaining family horror film, for everyone. One of the reasons is the way that writer/director, Sky Soleil makes everything seem fun. His direction was very good. Soliel goes a very good job with the pacing of the film, as it doesn’t get too boring or too kiddish to the point that I would be hating on it. Soleil also goes a good job with the direction of performances. The performances helped made this film fun. Daniel Roebuck, who has been in previous film like “The Devil’s Rejects” and the upcoming “Halloween 2”, really helps make this film fun, as he makes his character, very loveable, which helps the flow of the film and makes enjoy the character.

Another thing that I thought contributed to the film’s success, the way the screenplay does a good job making the action seem fun. Soleil achieves that, by creating the main character, as someone who would be considered as someone, you would not think could actually kill a vampire icon, let along a vampire period. It makes the film funny and makes you entertained. Also, there are some twists to the story. Those twists provided some good background information and a couple of scares near the end. That in return, makes the film fun and enjoyable.

“How My Dad Killed Dracula” is film that you will probably hear more of, when the Halloween film festival season hits. This is a very fun and entertaining short for the whole family.

Review Rating: Four Stars.

If you’re a filmmaker and interested in having your horror film reviewed in the horror chamber, you can reach the Chamber Keeper himself at horrorchamber@filmarcade.net or if you have any film in any genres that you want Film Arcade to review. Send us an email at screeners@filmarcade.net.

Until then, have a frightening day.