Like many of
you, I grew up watching “The Lone Ranger” on television and listening to the
old time radio show. John Reid, whether he was wearing a mask or not, was a
paragon of justice, and seeing him and his faithful sidekick Tonto defeat the
bad guys was always deeply satisfying. I was reminded of how much I liked this
character while watching Gore Verbinski’s “The Lone Ranger” because I kept
asking myself, “Who is this buffoon that has no business being around a horse
doing in this movie?”
Hollywood has had little to no luck in getting a respectful version of “The Lone Ranger” up on the big screen, and this 2013 summer blockbuster is the latest example of that. At two and a half hours, this film is a bloated mess that could have easily been shortened. It sticks its talented cast with a bland story, an uninteresting villain, and it can never seem to figure out if it wants to be a lighthearted adventure or a deadly serious film. Sadly, it is not until the last half hour that this “Lone Ranger” finally comes to life.
It is yet
another origin story about how these iconic characters first met and joined
forces to bring justice to the American Old West. John Reid (Armie Hammer) is a
lawyer and former Texas Ranger who joins up with his brother Dan (James Badge
Dale) to recapture ruthless outlaw Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner) who has
just escaped. In the process of tracking Butch down, John and Dan are ambushed
by Butch and his law breaking friends, and he mercilessly takes Dan’s life as
well as another part of his body from him. John is assumed to be dead, but Tonto
(Johnny Depp), however, finds his body and nurses him back to health so that
they can bring Butch to justice once and for all.
Now I try to
enjoy movies for what they are as opposed to what I want them to be, but I
found myself wanting to see a very different version of “The Lone Ranger”
because the iconic character is not given the respect here that he deserves. I
came out of this film feeling sorry for Hammer who is a very good actor (he was
terrific as the Winklevoss twins in “The Social Network”) as he was forced to
portray John Reid as a buffoon and a wimp who has no business trying to bring
any bad guys to justice. Hammer has some funny moments, but the screenplay by Justin
Haythe, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio robs his character of many of the heroic
qualities we love the Lone Ranger for having.
C’mon folks,
this is a movie about The Lone Ranger, so why not make it about The Lone
Ranger?! Just like “The Green Hornet,” this is a film that blatantly forgets
what makes its well-known characters so special. At least Hammer’s acting
career will fare much better than Klinton Spilsbury’s did after he starred in “The
Legend of the Lone Ranger.”
Of course,
Johnny Depp gets top billing even though he is playing the sidekick in this
film because, well, he’s Johnny Depp. While he is in many ways the best thing
about “The Lone Ranger,” his performance here is a bit problematic. Depp said
that he chose to play Tonto so that he could right the wrongs of the past in
terms of how Native Americans are portrayed in the media. I really want to say
that he succeeded, but I’m not sure he did. While he clearly is having a lot of
fun playing Tonto, the character threatens to come off more as a comical caricature
than a believable Indian character not undone by clichés. I have no doubt that
Depp has Native American blood in him, but it would have made much more sense
to get a full-blooded Native American to play Tonto instead.
But in the
midst of such comical mischief between the Lone Ranger and Tonto, we get to
learn about Tonto’s backstory which involves tragedy and Indian genocide. It’s
at this point that the movie’s tone becomes completely erratic as it can’t seem
to decide whether it wants to be funny or serious. Not that I want to gloss
over the damage we did to the Indians, but a lot of that grim history belongs
in another movie and not this one.
“The Lone
Ranger” also starts off with another side story which has a young boy named
Will visiting a county fair in San Francisco where he runs into an elderly
Tonto who proceeds to tell Will about his adventures with the masked man. The
movie keeps coming back to these two time and time again, and it ends up
slowing its already sluggish pace down to a grinding halt. These scenes could
easily been cut out of the film because they really serve no good purpose to
the story.
William Fichtner
remains one of the most dependable character actors working in film and
television today, but he is unfortunately saddled with portraying a bore of a
villain in Butch Cavendish. The character’s makeup basically spells out that
this is one very bad dude who never visits the dentist, and it’s almost like
Fichtner is letting the makeup do all the work for him. There’s really not much
to the character of Butch other than he’s just another evil outlaw, and this
gives Fichtner no real opportunities to make him the least bit interesting.
As for the
other actors, Ruth Wilson gets to play Dan Reid’s obligatory love interest
Rebecca, but she is given little to do other than be in constant danger. Tom
Wilkinson is a welcome presence as railroad tycoon Latham Cole, but it’s no
surprise to see what his character ends up becoming. It’s cool to see Barry
Pepper co-starring here as US Calvary Officer Jay Fuller, but it’s another one
of those clichéd corrupt military characters who is just asking to get beaten
up. As for Helena Bonham Carter, she is wasted in a bit part as brothel madam
Red Harrington. We all love seeing Carter pop up in one role after another, but
seriously, this movie doesn’t deserve her.
Director
Verbinski runs into many of the same problems that ended up undoing “Pirates of
the Caribbean: At World’s End;” the movie goes on for far too long (that one
was almost three hours in length), it has characters we never fully care about,
and it doesn’t take long for us to give up on trying to understand the plot.
Now Verbinski is a talented filmmaker and the first “Pirates of the Caribbean”
movie was fantastic entertainment, but you’d think after “At World’s End” that
he would rein things in more (especially the running time). The fact that he
doesn’t here is very frustrating.
However, I
do have to admit that I loved the movie’s last half hour where Verbinski
executes a brilliantly staged action sequence. Once the “William Tell Overture”
music started blasting through the speakers and the Lone Ranger and Tonto jump
from train car to train car to get the bad guys and rescue those in jeopardy, I
was having a blast. This was “The Lone Ranger” movie I wanted to see, the one
where we are genuinely thrilled by this masked man’s crime fighting ways. Now
why couldn’t the rest of the movie be as good?
“The Lone
Ranger” isn’t the worst movie of summer 2013, but it’s pretty close. It’s not
as boring as “The Great Gatsby” nor is it abysmally bad like “The Hangover Part
III,” but considering the talent and the obscene amount of money Disney put
into making this film, it should have delivered far more bang for the buck.
Westerns have taken a hit over the years with poorly received duds like “Wild
Wild West” and “Jonah Hex,” and Verbinski’s film isn’t going to help matters
any. This was the first Lone Ranger movie made in over 30 years, and now it
looks like we’ll have to wait another 30 years for the next one to be made.
Hi-Yo,
Silver! Away from Hollywood!
* * out of * * * *
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