"War, Inc." Review - Written by TonyD

“War, Inc.”
2008
*** out of ****
Director: Joshua Seftel
Cast: John Cusack, Marisa Tomei, Hilary Duff


Oh, there are two things that I absolutely hate in film – a slow first act and fake accents. I can deal with a well-paced first act, a slow second act, and a picked-up third act, and I even dealt with Cate Blanchett playing a Russian in last week’s “Indiana Jones.” But I cannot deal with a slow first act. If the first act is slow, then it would lower my expectations for the next two acts, so more than likely, I will hate it. If the film has a fake accent, then it isn’t considered great acting, correct?

The two things stopping me from giving “War, Inc.” four stars is the slow first act and Hilary Duff’s fake Middle Eastern accent. Other than that, “War, Inc.” is a really entertaining and very funny movie, but that’s only after the first act. The first act, however, sets up the entire movie, but does it so boringly that it was easy for me to lose focus as to what was going into the film until I rewatched the first act again.

The movie takes place in the fictional country of Turaqistan. America’s former vice president (Dan Aykroyd) is hosting a private corporation in the country, and he asks a buffalo drinking hit-man Brand Hauser (John Cusack) to kill some Middle Eastern guy who has something to do with the country’s oil supply. (Lyubomir Neikov) He disguises himself as an organizer for a popular Middle Eastern singer (Hilary Duff) and trying to keep a reporter (Marisa Tomei) away from her by spreading out secrets about the wedding.

“War, Inc.” is completely cynical and mad throughout the entire film, but it goes from being goofy and serious, and never actually decides which it wants to be. One of the many scenes in the film is when Marisa Tomei’s character is caught by terrorists who aspire to become filmmakers. By sending in a videotape of demands (including basketball trades), these terrorists bring John Cusack to their home where these aren’t actual terrorists, but auteur filmmakers just looking to make a movie with some Spike Lee camera angles. It seems like all is fine until Cusack and Tomei walks out of the door and get caught in crossfire between a helicopter and terrorists going at it.

“War, Inc.” is no “Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb,” but it is pretty damn close to being just as funny as it is. The jokes are equally separated – some of the jokes are political, some are farce, some are dark, and some are pop-culture jokes. But the movie, which manages to have a slow first act, doesn’t slow down on the jokes. Even at times when it is slow in the second or third act, there is always a joke thrown in there that kept my interest.

John Cusack does a really good job as the main character. But what I’m sure many film geeks are probably questioning about is whether or not this role is just a rehash of his role in the 90s flick “Grosse Pointe Blank.” The answer is that while the roles are really similar, this guy that Cusack plays is just a bit more experienced and cynical. He hates everything about the world but keeps it tucked in until a scene late in the second act. His role works and he works right back with it.

Another problem of mine was the role played by Hilary Duff. Her role is supposed to be slutty, but instead it comes off as unrealistic. I don’t know if she does a great job at playing a slut, but she can’t play a Middle Eastern worth of dog-shit. Her accent is so shakey in some scenes that she sounds more like Hilary Duff than a Middle Eastern woman.

And unlike the role of Melissa Cherry in “The Onion Movie,” Hilary Duff goes along with being the slut that everyone thinks she is. Melissa Cherry denies numerous times throughout the flick that she doesn’t use the mouth and is still a virgin. That is just another reason why these guys have to work on their screenplay. It’s not only degrading to Middle Eastern women, but degrading to Duff.

“War, Inc.” is still a hilarious movie. There are a few dull moments here and there and some parts are really boring, but there is enough jokes to keep me entertained. It isn’t better than last year’s “Charlie Wilson’s War,” but it is better than other war films such as “Redacted” and “Lions for Lambs.”