"The Love Guru" Review - Written by Jonathan Medina

the Love Guru (2008)

Directed by Marco Schnabel

Starring:
Mike Myers
Jessica Alba
Justin Timberlake
Romany Malco
Verne Troyer
Ben Kingsley
Stephen Colbert
Jim Gaffigan

I've been a fan of Mike Myers ever since Wayne's World became the coolest make believe public access show of all-time. I always look forward to anything he is working on, but I have to say that I was really worried about this one since the first time I saw a trailer for it. It got only worse when I saw an extended trailer and saw full clips on the talk show circuit, none of which made me laugh very much, if at all. What a waste of time it was to gather all these talented people together (and Jessica Alba) and make such a stinker.

The Love Guru is mostly a sloppy, stupid mess of a film. I thought the concept was a decent one, (Deepak Chopra is famous for a reason) but a weak plot and screeenplay and uninspired performances spelled doom to whatever promise the project once held. A lot of people used the chic complaint that this was a 3 minute sketch that they tried to stretch into a full length movie. Personally, I think it would have made an interesting short film or perhaps mockumentary. But fear not. I don't think we will worry about having to revisit this character under any circumstance ever again. The film was probably more boring to me than hideous, but I must say that after the 10th fart/booger/shit joke, it started to smell like a bomb. A stink one.

This is most likely Myers' worst film yet. A lot of it has to do with expectations, but after the first 2 Austin Powers and Shrek films, you would forgive us for expecting tons more from him. It also has a lot to do with taking the easy way out. For Myers, at this stage of his career, to settle for excessive and unimaginative bathroom humor is damn near tragic. The bottom line is that I usually visit Myers' films time and time again, even if it's just for a handful of scenes. I can say with the utmost confidence that I will most likely never sit through this film again.

Perhaps the biggest crime here, though, is the aforementioned waste of talent. Besides Myers, Malco, who shined in the 40 Year-Old Virgin and Kingsley, who shines in everything, were nothing short of forgettable. Colbert and Gaffigan were predictably two of the most enjoyable things about the movie, but it was like they were doing their own separate movie, which wouldn't be an entirely bad idea, at this point. Timberlake is pretty good and I believe he has a future in the industry, but he has an annoying tendency to overdo everything. A more subtle approach could spell instant super-stardom in another industry. I actually liked the idea of Troyer getting a speaking role, but he just couldn't pull it off here. At times, Jessica Alba appears to be one of the worst actresses I have ever seen and that is the case here. She is robotic and appears to be lost and not having a good time at all. And the chemistry, or lack thereof between her and Myers is pathetic and a bit uncomfortable. On top of the fact that their being each other's love interests is completely implausible, they just seemed so awkward around each other and Alba just looked like she was desperate to jump out of the screen. One can't really blame her, but that doesn't excuse her atrocious performance.

The idea of using "Mariska Hargitay" as one of the Love Guru's catch phrases was genius, but it was criminally overused and it would have taken a lot more than that to save this film. I'm surprised this wasn't shelved, or redone. It was that uneven and one of the strangest movie-going experiences of the year. I did smile and laugh a few times here and there, but in the end, it was one of the most disappointing films of the year and possibly one of the worst. I can only imagine what people who don't like Myers thought of it...