the Love Guru (2008)

Directed by Marco Schnabel

Starring:
Mike Myers
Jessica Alba
Justin Timberlake
Romany Malco
Verne Troyer
Ben Kingsley
Stephen Colbert
Jim Gaffigan

I've been a fan of Mike Myers ever since Wayne's World became the coolest make believe public access show of all-time. I always look forward to anything he is working on, but I have to say that I was really worried about this one since the first time I saw a trailer for it. It got only worse when I saw an extended trailer and saw full clips on the talk show circuit, none of which made me laugh very much, if at all. What a waste of time it was to gather all these talented people together (and Jessica Alba) and make such a stinker.

The Love Guru is mostly a sloppy, stupid mess of a film. I thought the concept was a decent one, (Deepak Chopra is famous for a reason) but a weak plot and screeenplay and uninspired performances spelled doom to whatever promise the project once held. A lot of people used the chic complaint that this was a 3 minute sketch that they tried to stretch into a full length movie. Personally, I think it would have made an interesting short film or perhaps mockumentary. But fear not. I don't think we will worry about having to revisit this character under any circumstance ever again. The film was probably more boring to me than hideous, but I must say that after the 10th fart/booger/shit joke, it started to smell like a bomb. A stink one.

This is most likely Myers' worst film yet. A lot of it has to do with expectations, but after the first 2 Austin Powers and Shrek films, you would forgive us for expecting tons more from him. It also has a lot to do with taking the easy way out. For Myers, at this stage of his career, to settle for excessive and unimaginative bathroom humor is damn near tragic. The bottom line is that I usually visit Myers' films time and time again, even if it's just for a handful of scenes. I can say with the utmost confidence that I will most likely never sit through this film again.

Perhaps the biggest crime here, though, is the aforementioned waste of talent. Besides Myers, Malco, who shined in the 40 Year-Old Virgin and Kingsley, who shines in everything, were nothing short of forgettable. Colbert and Gaffigan were predictably two of the most enjoyable things about the movie, but it was like they were doing their own separate movie, which wouldn't be an entirely bad idea, at this point. Timberlake is pretty good and I believe he has a future in the industry, but he has an annoying tendency to overdo everything. A more subtle approach could spell instant super-stardom in another industry. I actually liked the idea of Troyer getting a speaking role, but he just couldn't pull it off here. At times, Jessica Alba appears to be one of the worst actresses I have ever seen and that is the case here. She is robotic and appears to be lost and not having a good time at all. And the chemistry, or lack thereof between her and Myers is pathetic and a bit uncomfortable. On top of the fact that their being each other's love interests is completely implausible, they just seemed so awkward around each other and Alba just looked like she was desperate to jump out of the screen. One can't really blame her, but that doesn't excuse her atrocious performance.

The idea of using "Mariska Hargitay" as one of the Love Guru's catch phrases was genius, but it was criminally overused and it would have taken a lot more than that to save this film. I'm surprised this wasn't shelved, or redone. It was that uneven and one of the strangest movie-going experiences of the year. I did smile and laugh a few times here and there, but in the end, it was one of the most disappointing films of the year and possibly one of the worst. I can only imagine what people who don't like Myers thought of it...

Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Gary Oldman, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Cane, Morgan Freeman
Director: Christopher Nolan
Release Date: July 18, 2008
Running Time: 152 min
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Distributor: Warner Bros

I have done my absolute best to keep my expectations in check for The Dark Knight. Considering the fact that the viral marketing for this film started 2 years ago, the very notion of the film succeeding on any level under the weight of its own designed expectation isn’t simply preposterous – it is unimaginable. The truth is, for as overdone as the marketing seemed to be, the greatest prank the campaign pulled was fooling us all into thinking we were prepared for what we were about to experience.

For those who haven’t seen it I will keep it spoiler free but for anyone reading this, you already know enough of the plot to get started – Batman and the Joker battle for supremacy in Gotham. The first thing I noticed about the film that it has a completely different feel to it than any other movie based on a super hero or comic book character. You almost immediately forget you are watching a superhero, or even a Batman movie, as it hits the ground running with a bank heist. Instantly it has the feel of Michael Mann’s Heat. As the movie tears on, you realize that you aren’t watching a comic book movie at all but rather a sophisticated crime drama that happens to be housed in the walls of the superhero genre. That is just one of the many surprises Christopher Nolan has in store.

As a general rule of thumb, comic book/superhero movies stick to a couple basic ground rules: good versus evil where the hero is matched against a villain attempting to inflict peril on an unsuspecting city or group of people. To simply say The Dark Knight is different may be the understatement of the year. Nolan digs so much deeper and gives us a movie that is far more complex than that simple premise. In Batman Begins, we saw the the transformation of Bruce Wayne into Batman. The Dark Knight asks, “What now?” That ‘what now’ is that Wayne has grown weary of his role as Gotham’s savoir after being unjustly labeled a vigilante killer by the very city he has been trying to protect. The timing of the Joker’s introduction only further compounds this dilemma. He is at first, hell-bent on destroying Batman by way of humiliation by repeatedly asking him to reveal his true identity. He continues his murderous rampages while laying the blame at Batman’s feet. And everyone buys into the Joker’s plan. In the meantime, Batman/Bruce Wayne and Gotham have put all their faith in the city’s new District Attorney, Harvey Dent to rid the town of crime once and for all. It’s quite a little love triangle as each man realizes they need one another to fulfill their own agenda. Wayne realizes he needs Dent to help leave the life of Batman behind, the Joker realizes he needs Batman to feed his own anarchistic tendencies, and at one point or another Dent needs them both. The line of morality gets further blurred as we go. What is right and wrong in the name of right and wrong becomes the greater question as we further decent into the darkness of the human soul. It is that exploration that gives this film its bite and sets it apart from anything else before it.

The creation and application of Bruce Wayne’s alter-ego, is contingent on spending his time developing new weapons and armor in an effort to make himself as indestructible as he can because as a superhero without super powers. Batman is merely human and he knows his limitations. Where the Joker succeeds as an adversary is not attacking him physically but in his awareness of what makes Batman the way he is, or has become. Any of his attempted physical attacks are manifested from his understanding of the darkness where Batman exists. His weapon is knowledge and it is with this that he inflicts the most damage to Batman.

For all of this movie’s haunting moral complexities, it would be nothing without the excellent performances from its cast, of which there are many. Where do you start? Heath Ledger gives the performance of a lifetime – his or anyone else’s – as the Joker. His performance will go down as one of the greatest movie villains of all time, right next to Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs, Darth Vader in Star Wars, and Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange. It should come as no surprise that he seemingly pulled inspiration from all three. His Joker is sadistic, nihilistic, shows no empathy and is completely devoid of any character arc. What’s more, Ledger disappears into the role not just in his over the top approach to the character, but in the subtleties; the way he carries himself, the way he licks his lips like a rabid dog in between lines of dialogue, even the Joker’s trademark maniacal laugh has a psychotic tinge to it. As sad as it is that Ledger is not around to see and promote the film, it only fuels the performance that much further. The same way we are not given any explanation as to the Joker’s origin in the movie, we are all left to wonder just how Ledger brought that character to life as he did. It is perfect in every sense of the word and the lack of clarification as to how it happened makes it that much more haunting. It is hard to overlook the impact his death has on the movie but if he wins the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, like he deserves, it will be because he gave us a brilliant performance, not because he can’t do it again.

As great as Ledger is, you can’t overlook the performances from the rest of the cast. Aaron Eckhart as the no-nonsense DA Harvey Dent and his eventual transformation into Two-Face is beautifully tragic and he plays both sides to the hilt. Dent balances out the film as he provides the character arc that the Joker could not. Maggie Gyllenhaal makes us all (happily) forget Katie Holmes ever had anything to do with these movies. Michael Caine as Alfred and Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox provide balance and wisdom in their respective roles. And Gary Oldman gives another understated performance as James Gordon. With a cast as strong as this, you start to gravitate away from the silly notion that seasoned and accomplished actors don’t belong in a genre movie like this.

At the end of it all, you have a swiftly paced 2 ½ hour movie that realizes every bit of ambition and scope that it set out to, and with respect, actually makes all previous Batman films worse by comparison. Nolan has created a masterpiece that will stay with you long after you finish watching it. Superman may have laid the foundation and Spider-Man may have made it a profitable business, but The Dark Knight transcends the genre by raising the bar and turning it into an art form.

And there’s the rub.

**** out of ****

You Don't Mess With the Zohan (2008)

Directed by Dennis Dugan

Written by Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel & Judd Apatow

Starring:
Adam Sandler
John Turturro
Emmanuelle Chriqui
Nick Swardson
Lanie Kazan
Ido Mosseri
Rob Schneider
Dave Matthews

The films of Adam Sandler are some of the easiest movies for me to figure out. There's not much middle ground. Especially with the comedies. They seem to be either kind of stupid, but really funny, or kind of funny, but really stupid. That's why it blows my mind when people seem baffled by his work. Maybe it's one of those cases where you either get the guy or you don't. If you count yourself as a fan, then it's probably pretty simple for you to pick your favorites, but for those who are on the fence, the consensus always seems to be confusion. Sandler didn't help matters when he started doing dramas. Now people wonder why he doesn't do more of them, where fans just admire his versatility, although we occasionally wonder how someone so talented could lay such a massive egg.

Recently, RottenTomatoes.com ranked all of Sandler's films based on critics' scores. Critics seem to be even more out of the loop than the average moviegoer. Obviously, I don't speak for everybody, but I have always found it to be overwhelmingly obvious that Mr. Deeds was Sandler's worst film to date, but RT has it listed as only the fourth worst. I also think that Little Nicky is one of his better comedies (and one of his most underrated) and it is listed at one slot higher than Deeds and ranked lower than such ultimate stinkers as Airheads and the Longest Yard. Worse than that, the Longest Yard, one of the worst remakes in recent history, is ranked higher than the Waterboy, one that most Sandler fans would rate as easily one of his best. I was also shocked that 50 First Dates was not only ranked as the 6th best Sandler film of all time, but ahead of Big Daddy, the Waterboy and Little Nicky. I can't argue with the number one choice of Punch Drunk Love, but I had a major bone to pick with a lot of the other placings. The reason I mention all this is that I found the reviews of You Don't Mess With the Zohan to be pretty rough so far. As it stands right now, it appears that it will be among the most poorly reviewed Sandler films. While I can't say this film is amazing, or one of his elite, it is easily one of his funniest in a long time, probably since Little Nicky and possibly one of his 5 funniest movies ever.

If you walk into the theater and expect a plausible plot, groundbreaking performances, a film with no holes and a smart, bulletproof script, then you've obviously never seen an Adam Sandler comedy before. If you know what you're in for, you should be pleased, because it is one of the better screenplays he's had to work with, which no doubt can be attributed to Apatow's contributions. There are certainly flat spots and scenes that are just plain dumb and unnecessary, but the movie is consistently funny and fun. My only major complaint is that it didn't have enough of those laugh out loud moments. It was funny enough throughout to save it from being utterly boring and ridiculous, but a few more "chuckle 'til it hurts" moments could have made it a clear cut Sandler classic. Regardless, I still think it comes pretty close.

I'm not going to go into the plot. It's not that significant. It's not the worst storyline I've ever seen. In fact, as it goes for Sandler comedies, it's probably one of the better ones. I can get behind the idea of an Israeli counter-terrorist wanting to move to New York to become a hairdresser. If you like that idea, then give the film a chance. If you're already a Sandler fan, the plot is inconsequential. If you're not, there's still a chance you'll like some of it, but it doesn't have that big chance to convert you like a film like Reign Over Me or Punch Drunk Love has. Most of you have probably decided whether or not you will watch the film at this point. All I can say is that I think it's pretty fucking funny. Nothing else I can say will change your mind either way.

The Sandman is good in it. He made me laugh a lot. Good belly laughs. Not 'til I had tears in my eyes like I had hoped, but the laughs were hearty enough to keep me involved. There was a bit of a lull near the end of the movie, but I never had an overwhelming feeling that I wished it was over. The rest of the performances ranged anywhere from pretty good to lackluster, but no one really stunk it up too bad. Schneider probably came closest, I hate to say.

There were a shitload (that is the technical term) of fun cameos in the movie. I don't want to ruin it too much for you, but the most surprising was probably Dave Matthews. I found him to be pretty entertaining, something he's been hard pressed to do with his music. Maybe he should switch to acting. Another favorite cameo of mine was by none other than the Facts of Life's Charlotte Rae, who, as one of Sandler's customers, got the "special treatment". Pretty damn priceless. I will never see Mrs. Garrett in the same light again.

So in conclusion, you get what you ask for when you walk into this kind of movie. It's dumb, silly and rather pointless, especially for a film that wants so badly to be political, but it's also rewarding in little ways and as far as I'm concerned, his funniest movie in 8 years. If you're looking for something else, more power to you. But if you need a light, throwaway flick to kill a couple hours of reality, you'll more than likely be mightily pleased.

Score: 3.25 out of 5

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008)

Written & Directed by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg

Starring:
John Cho
Kal Penn
Neil Patrick Harris
Rob Corddry

It's 2008 and America's most dynamic duo is back in action. No, not Tango & Cash. It's Harold & Kumar, the world's greatest stoned rangers since Cheech & Chong. This is no half baked performance, but if you're expecting high artistic merit, you're in the wrong place. (Much like the group of 6 elderly people who walked out of the theater about 15 minutes into the film. I have no idea why they were there in the first place.)

If you enjoyed the first Harold & Kumar film, you're going to like this one, too, but you're probably not going to like it as much. But the film has enough going for it that if there is a third one (stay through the closing credits and you may be led to believe that the door is definitely open) you will probably rush out to see that one, as well. Sure, it's dumb, raunchy and, well, pointless, but it's also a whole lot of fun. I don't feel the need to go into much detail here because once you've seen the preview, most of you already know if you're going to see this movie or not. It's not one of those films you'll be on the fence about seeing. Either you're going to be into it, or you're not going to touch it with a ten foot bong.

Instead of going to Amsterdam, the fellas get mistaken as terrorists and are detained by officials at the airport. They are shortly taken to Guantanamo Bay and almost as quickly escape from there and hi-jinx, inevitably, ensue as the boys encounter a "bottomless party", (topless parties are old hat) an inbred freak show of a little boy in a pimped out trailer home, a KKK meeting and a whorehouse with NPH. And they top it all off by accidentally crashing the President's vacation pad. For a moment, the film actually gets semi-political and I actually had a bit of sympathy for old W when I thought of my old theory that he's simply a puppet that got stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time with the most evil puppet masters money can buy. (I always picture him texting dear old George Herbert Walker this simple message: "Daddy, I don't wanna be President no more :( -- W") But then I remembered I was at a stoner comedy, (I'm not a big fan of the term either, but I don't know what else to call it) which was aided by the fact that soon, H & K were getting blazed with the Head of State. Beat that, Method Man & Redman!

Penn and Cho are great as always and while I think Corddry is rather hit or miss, he was great here. Also wonderful was fellow Daily Show alum Ed Helms, who shines as he attempts to translate Harold's parents mysterious dialect which some of you may know as English. I would have liked to see more NPH, but even a little bit of Neil Patrick Harris is a good thing. Also back are David Krumholz and Eddie Kaye Thomas, who are questioned by the overzealous G-men in association with their buddies' so-called terrorist activities. A disguised Christopher Meloni also returns, this time as a KKK head. On one last note, an enjoyable leftfield performance was given by one Eric Winter, whom--don't tell anyone--I used to love as Rex DiMera on the Days of Our Lives. (Let's not even talk about Beverly D'Angelo. That was just brutal.)

If you're looking for some mindless entertainment that will make you laugh and forget about your worries for a couple of hours, then this is that kind of movie. But you probably already knew that. This movie is not going to catch anybody off guard or convert anybody who didn't like the first film. But it will delight in its own simple way for the audience that it was made for and in this day and age, that's about all you can ask for sometimes.

The Savages

2007
Rated R

Director: Tamara Jenkins

Cast: Laura Linney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Philip Bosco

Tamara Jenkins has a flair for family dysfunction. As a follow-up to "Slums of Beverly Hills", Jenkins writes and directs "The Savages", an insightful story of a brother and sister coping with their father’s onset of dementia and forced home evacuation in the midst of their own mid-life crisis.

"The Savages" is a character driven story featuring poignant performances from Tony Award nominee, Philip Bosco, Academy Award nominee, Laura Linney, and Academy Award winner, Philip Seymour Hoffman. The acting is superb and draws the audience right into the forlorn worlds of each character. Linney plays a self-loathing playwright with an inordinate fondness of prescription drugs. Hoffman plays her brother, a theater professor in an uncertain relationship with his Polish girlfriend whose visa is about to expire. The estranged siblings are forced to reconnect with each other and with their dying father as he suffers the indignities of Alzheimer’s and life in a nursing home. Peter Friedman was also notable as Linney’s smarmy, married lover.

The soundtrack was enjoyable and underscored the cinematography perfectly. It reminded me of the score in from "Being John Malkovich". But the hand-held camera action was jerky and distracting in places. The trailer was misleading, marketing this film as a comedy. It is much more of a melodrama. But Jenkins adds in just the right amount of comedic levity to offset the serious subject matter. My biggest complaint was that "Savages" dragged on way too long and was full of clichés. The movie is less than two hours but it feels like it goes on for three or more. It starts to repeat itself within 30 minutes. A bit more editing of the unnecessary dialogue scenes would have been an improvement. (one of the pitfalls of being both writer and director)

"The Savages" is worth seeing for the exceptional performances by these actors. I think Laura Linney can expect an Oscar nomination for this one. But afterwards you might wish you had some of Wendy’s happy pills to get you through the depression. I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars.

CAPTIVITY (2007)

DIRECTED BY

Roland Joffe

STARRING

Elisha Cuthbert - Jennifer Tree

Daniel Gillies - Gary

Pruitt Taylor Vince - Ben

1/2* out of ****

Have you ever had that feeling that someone was constantly following you? At home? At work? At social events? Unless you're a celebrity, or Paris Hilton, this is not a feeling you should normally have. But what if it were taken one step further, to the point where this stalker drugged you and kidnapped you? How would you feel waking up in a strange room where traps await you to test your survival skills because some madman has nothing better to do?

CAPTIVITY asks and answers those questions, as Elisha Cuthbert's character has to deal with that very thing. And boy, I do not want to be in her position. Not because it's a horrible experience. It's because it's the most boring, pointless ordeal anyone will have to deal with. I would rather be killed than experience CAPTIVITY again.

PLOT

Jennifer Tree (Elisha Cuthbert) is a fashion model [isn't she a little too overweight to be a model] whose has her mug all over New York City. Her life is pretty meaningless [from what I got anyway] and pretty much goes through the motions. She's invited to some charity party where she is drugged and kidnapped. She wakes up the next morning in some dark room that looks like her own apartment. Her captor then begins to mess with Jennifer by putting her through traps [like incasing her in sand, using high pitched soundwaves, and making her drink some crimson - yum]. Just when Jennifer is about to give up, she learns that she's not the only victim inside the underground nightmare.

REVIEW

I have three words for CAPTIVITY:

WHAT THE FUCK!!??

CAPTIVITY has got to be one of the most pointless, absinine horror films I have seen in a really, really long time. It's mean, it's bleak, it's gloomy, and it's boring. This film was so heavily hyped before it's release last summer because of the posters of Elisha Cuthbert looking tortured. The government and MPAA tried to ban the film because it could give people ideas on hurting others. You know something? I actually agree with Big Brother here. This film should have banned so I wouldn't have watched 90 minutes of my life disappear in front of my eyes. Let's just say that the hype would make a much better film than the actual product.

Supposedly a member of the "torture porn" sub-genre, CAPTIVITY is probably the tamest next to SAW and HOSTEL. The gore factor is pretty lame for a "torture" movie. Sure we see someone get burnt by acid being poured on them. But other than that, nothing else happens! Jennifer gets stuck in a glass box where sand pours on her. Wow, color me scared. Or what about the fact that she gets a funnel in her mouth and she has to chug blood with some body parts mixed in? Okay, that's gross but cannibal movies make that kind of shit much more effective. It's a pretty lame concept here, as Jennifer is never really tortured much. It's just a more extreme form of prison. I don't understand the hype behind it all. And I saw the UNRATED version of the film. I can't imagine the RATED version. Was there any difference because I couldn't really tell? It's never tense. Nor suspenseful. Nor scary. It's just dementedly stupid. No wonder this piece of shit made no money at the box office. For once, mainstream America made the right call.

Roland Joffe directs a really boring film here. The pacing is totally off, as there are random fade-ins and fade-outs for no reason whatsoever. Like I mentioned before, Joffe never builds any tension or any scares. It's just a really blah directorial job. And Joffe is a very good director [see THE KILLING FIELDS and tell me he's not]. I don't know what happened here. Not even Uwe Boll would want to direct this film and that's saying something. I do admit that the picture looks nice and clear, which is due to great cinematography. If you like that sort of thing, then you might like this a lot more than I did.

The story/screenplay was also uninspired. Apparently the creators were trying to do a SAW-like film and pretty much failed. None of the characters are intelligent. None of the characters are sympathetic. We don't know these people long enough to care about them or care about their situation. They are caricatures of other horror characters that we have grown to know and love. For example, Jennifer is supposed to be the protagonist of the film. And yeah, what she goes through sucks balls. But do we care? Do we want her to survive for other than the fact that we don't want to be placed in that situation? She has no personality and we don't know enough about her background [except that she's some blonde model] to really give a damn. We usually root for girls who fight back their oppressors, but I could have cared less here. It's uninspired and I can't relate with uninspired.

It would have helped if there was an actual REASON for why the captor puts her through this. Say what you want about "torture porn" films but at least the villain always has a reason for what they do. In SAW, Jigsaw put people through hell in order for them to appreciate the life they were wasting away. It was all about morals and it works brilliantly. In HOSTEL, the villains are doing what they do because it's a sport. It's all about capitalism. In CAPTIVITY, the captor does these things because...well who in the fuck knows? Maybe he's just a sick motherfucker. That's nice and all but do I really give a shit? Not really. There's no background to this guy as to why he does what he does. I like mysterious villains but you got to throw me at least ONE bone! Maybe if the story was actually better constructed, this could have been a much better film. But apparently, Joffe only wanted to gross people out. And believe me, you'll barely flinch at this one.

As for the acting, it was probably the film's saving grace from being a total failure. Elisha Cuthbert is in th middle for me as Jennifer. She's beautiful to look at and she can scream and cry with the best of them. But I wanted to see more from her. I mean, you're fuckin' trapped by some lunatic in some underground hell. Panic! Yell! Go fuckin' nuts and try to escape! But nope...Jennifer doesn't do that and Cuthbert doesn't show any of that terror or her want to do that in her performance. Everytime she tried to fight back, it was forced and seemed totally scripted. It didn't help that her dialogue sucked. I was hoping Jamie Lee Curtis would walk on the set and beat some Scream Queen sense into her. I would have watched that for 90 minutes!

For me, Daniel Gillies as the other captor, Gary, made the film for me. Best known as John Jameson in SPIDER-MAN 2 and Rachael Leigh Cook's hubby, Gillies gives a really rockin' performance. He was convincing in every way. I bought everything part of his performance, which shows how good of an actor he is. I would like to see more of him in films - hopefully in a much better one.

And I gotta say before I end this review: Who in the hell would have sex during a traumatic experience that Jennifer and Gary went through? Apparently Jennifer and Gary would! I kept thinking to myself, "Hmmm...I'm about to die trapped in this hellhole. God I'm horny! Let's fuck!" I mean, it was like the dumbest thing I have ever seen! Plus they knew the guy was watching their every move, yet they consummated it anyway. Riiight. I'm sorry but if I'm being tortured by a nutjob, the last thing I want is sex. Especially with someone who hasn't taken a bath in days. If I wanted to smell fish, I'd go to the fish market. Just saying...

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE GETTING TORTURED BY CAPTIVITY

1. I want nothing on me that involves Plaster of Paris. It'll only lead to blood tests, ointments, and a bad case of genital herpes.

2. One of the victims got showered with acid. That's no way to get rid of the itch. There's over the counter stuff for that!

3. Never crawl through a vent. Someone with a chainsaw will try and kill you from above. I see Leatherface got with the times. Or is in New York City to be a cross-dresser again. I'm hoping for the former.

4. The captor poured sand all over Jennifer's body while she was trapped in a glass container. He's obviously a fan of DAYS OF OUR LIVES. I knew Stefano will help create imitators!

5. The captor pulled out on of Gary's teeth forcefully. Nice to see Dr. Giggles still employed.

6. If you're captured with someone of the opposite sex, why not have with them? It's a whole lot better than trying to escape! Giving the asshole a free show is the least you can do to pay him back for hurting you! ::rolls eyes::

7. Elisha Cuthbert always causes trouble for two evil brothers. See also: HOUSE OF WAX (2005).

8. If you're a cop, don't ever watch a basketball game at a suspect's house. The players won't be the only ones taking a couple of shots...

9. When you sleep with someone, you belong to them. Wow, Lindsay Lohan must belong to a lot of people!

10. If you're a woman and you're using a big gun, you need to cock it before it can shoot. If you don't know how to do that, I'm not interested in dating you.

THE FINAL HOWL

CAPTIVITY is one of the most dull, predictable horror films I have ever seen. Yes, I got all the twists and even the ending really quickly. SAW was almost 4 years ago. Stop trying to make more films like this and move the fuck on! But hey, if you like bad acting, bad dialogue, bad direction, and a really tacky love story - then by all means watch this stupid film. Better you than me. CAPTIVITY, I personally put you in the WTF? Hall of Shame '08 for capturing my time away from something more meaningful. But if you do want me to set you free, all you got to do is...

KISS MY ASS!!

DIRECTED BY

Scott Frank

STARRING

Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Chris Pratt

Jeff Daniels - Lewis

Matthew Goode - Gary Spargo

Isla Fisher - Luvlee Lemons

Greg Dunham - Bone

Sergio Di Zio - Deputy Ted

**** out of ****

We've seen a few heist films in the past few years. Films like the OCEAN trilogy, THE ITALIAN JOB, GONE IN 60 SECONDS, FUN WITH DICK AND JANE, and MAD MONEY [which comes out this month] use the idea of stealing money or other valuable things as an exciting caper with comedic elements placed in between. But what if you're looking for a serious heist film that deals with characters that you can relate to and care about? A heist film with an interesting twist, THE LOOKOUT stands out among the rest of its heist film peers with a great lead performance by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and a brilliant directoral debut by OUT OF SIGHT and GET SHORTY screenwriter, Scott Frank.

PLOT

Chris Pratt (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is a popular and talented high school hockey player who seems to have it all. Chris has a hot car, a hot girlfriend (played by SMALLVILLE's Laura Vandervoort), and friends who love and respect him. After cruising one night, Chris crashes his car into a roadblock, leaving him slightly brain-damaged [he has very short-term memory] and alot of guilt over killing his friends. Four years pass, where Chris must write everything down in a notepad just to remember how to function every single day. He also has to go to a special needs college by day and works as a janitor at a bank at night. Also living with blind Lewis (Jeff Bridges), Chris is very frustrated with his flailing future and wants to change his life into something meaningful.

One night at a bar, Chris meets Gary Spargo (Matthew Goode), who claims to be an old boyfriend of his sister. Seeing something in Gary, Chris begins hanging out with him as a way to change his stagnant life. Chris also falls in love with a former stripper named Luvlee (Isla Fisher), who is part of Gary's clique and begins to have feelings for Chris. Even though Chris is having the time of his life, he soon realizes it was too good to be true. Apparently Gary has been following Chris for a while, wanting Chris to help him and his friends rob the bank where Chris works at. Faced with a tough decision, Chris soon realizes that whoever has the money has the power.

REVIEW

Thank you, Scott Frank. Thank you for directing a film that's intelligent and suspenseful at the same time. With great characters, great direction, and a great original script, THE LOOKOUT has a lot of depth with its character study of a young man who may not have a great memory, but still remembers the difference between right and wrong. In this day and age, heist films use slick technology and fancy skills to lead the robbers to victory. Here, we have none of that. It's an old-fashioned heist film in a modern time. And I, for one, appreciate the film for it.

Scott Frank, who has written two of the most clever films in film history [GET SHORTY and OUT OF SIGHT], directs an excellent film here. It's no surprise as a screenwriter that he knows how to evenly pace and visually narrate a film of this level. Frank really gets into the lives of his characters, especially Chris, where we continuously watch his struggle to remember every day of his life like it is a story. Through cuts, edits, and transitional scenes, we learn alot about Chris without hearing him utter a word of dialogue. I also appreciated the fact that Frank doesn't use the memory loss as a gimmick to propel the film to its conclusion. It's a very big part of Chris' character and Frank treats it with a ton of respect. He never goes overboard with his direction, always shooting what the audience needs to know and getting straight to the point in 99 minutes. Great at using tension and suspense as obstacles fall into Chris' lap, it's wonderful to watch a novice director give us a glimpse into the world of a very complicated person in such a human way.

Frank's script is also very well structured. We get to know all the characters very quickly, which is a plus. Plus we pretty much know how the story is gonna go [I've seen enough films to know how it was gonna end] but the ride is still a fun one and Frank tells Chris' plight fantastically. The script has a lot of heart in it. Nice to see some intelligence in a film for once, especially in a decade where style has taken over, leaving logic and good writing in the backburner.

The cinematography is also quite beautiful, as most of the colors are very dark even in daylight. It was almost noir-ish in my opinion, really setting the tone extremely well. And this film was shot in digital video? You could have fooled me! Very impressive. Mr. Frank needs to direct another film. I would love to see what's next from this guy.

What really makes this film worth watching is the wonderful acting. Joseph Gordon-Levitt has really left his child star years behind and has become quite a fine actor. He carries this film with ease, playing a mentally disabled man realistically and not as some caricature like a lot of other actors would have probably done in a film like this. He has these certain kind of naunces down, he's profound in his actions, and really steals the film from his co-stars as if he really did have this disability. He's a marvel to watch in this film and it's scary because he has such a long career ahead of him, meaning he's gonna get better and better with each film. This is quite honestly the best acting I've seen from Levitt and I can't wait for his next film. I could not find a fault in Levitt's performance. That's how good he is.

The supporting cast is also excellent. Matthew Goode is magnetic as bad guy Gary Spargo. He's charming, he's charismatic, and he's nothing but trouble for Chris. It's weird because you know the guy is bad news, as he's pretty much fucked up in the head, and he's just using Chris to get his hands on some cash. He should be that guy you love to hate, but I liked the guy alot. Goode was really good [pun intended] in the role. I've seen him in a couple of other films but nothing as good as this. Jeff Daniels is wonderful as Lewis, Chris' blind friend who gets caught up in the mess. The guy is not a victim. He's an intelligent, strong, sarcastic man who gives Chris the most respect out of everyone. He brings a lot of heart and depth to the role. Isla Fisher is also quite good as Luvlee. She's very attractive and appealing to watch on film. You know she uses Chris' heart to get him into the plan sort of, but you kind of feel for her when she actually starts falling for Chris. I did have an issue with her character, as it wasn't developed as the others. She also disappears at the end of the second act and her true purpose in the heist isn't exactly revealed or touched upon again. Still, Fisher is a wonderful actress and we'll continue to see great things from her.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE WRITING IN MY NOTEPAD

1. Don't ever drive at night without the car lights turned on. You could hit a roadblock. Or Britney Spears. She's dangerous, y'all!

2. Chris wants to fuck his case manager. After seeing Carla Gugino naked, I don't blame him.

3. The G-rated version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears is such a dumb story. The porn version is a lot better. In that version, the bears find Goldilocks and teach her a lesson for trespassing. She never wants to leave after THAT lesson.

4. Bartenders can receive a $17 tip for a $3 beer. Man, sign me up for that job! I can finally quit selling my body for Pez with that kind of cash!

5. Thanksgiving is an awkward family holiday, where secrets are revealed and arguments ensue. The only thing anyone should be thankful for is surviving the day. Where's that killer Pilgrim when you need him?

6. Luvlee Lemons is the stage name of Chris' lady friend. With a name like that, she either dances on a pole, gets gangbanged on camera, or is a respectable school teacher. Hey, sex ed is a class!

7. Whoever has the money has the power. That's truest thing I've heard in a film in a very long time. Why else are there so many crappy reality shows on TV? I mean really, do we need more Scott Baio in our lives?

8. Alex Bornstein plays a bank teller. I'm sure every customer looks...like a man. She know ev'ryting...ev'ryting...

9. Deputy Ted knocked off two of Gary's dudes. Who knew jelly and custard could make one a killing machine. Go bacon!

10. Damn...I can't remember number 10. I should have written it in my notepad.

THE FINAL HOWL

THE LOOKOUT is an impressive film by a first-time director. While the film is a bit predictable, you still get yourself involved with the story and its wonderful, fleshed-out characters. If you haven't seen this film for whatever reason, do so now! It's a must-see and definitely one of the best films of 2007. I can't wait to see what Scott Frank has next up his sleeve. Highly recommended.