This appears to be our last stop on the Michael Jackson exploitation train. Ever since his death a couple of months ago at age 50, he has achieved that same level of popularity that he experienced when “Thriller” first came out. It once again highlights how Hollywood has tremendous respect for the dead, but none for the living. His kids were robbed of a loving father, and we were robbed of the comeback to end them all. Instead, we have to settle for the documentary “This Is It” which features never before seen footage of the rehearsals he was doing in preparation for the 50 or shows he was scheduled to perform in London.

The whiff of exploitation is hard to deny while watching this movie, and it has inspired some controversies. One of them involves the assertion that a body double was used in many shots. The other one involved what people see as Michael Jackson not performing at his fullest. Knowing that MJ was the ultimate perfectionist in what he did, they felt offended that he would be shown in this light. Moreover, they felt that Michael would feel insulted that he would be shown operating at 60% instead of his expected to 110%.

Well I say hooey to all that! Let’s get something straight, THERE IS NO BODY DOUBLE USED FOR MICHAEL JACKSON IN THIS ENTIRE MOVIE. NONE, ZERO, ZIP, NADA! They had hundreds of hours of footage to choose from, so it goes without saying that MJ could not have needed a double any less. Furthermore, that Michael Jackson is not performing at 100% in “This Is It” makes it all the more interesting to watch. Showing him in this imperfect state allows us more insight into just how seriously he was taking these concerts, and of how he tried to save his voice as much as possible.

While Michael looks very thin here, he does not look like he was at all close to death or drugged out of his mind. Watching him dance again with endless enthusiasm makes it look like he never lost his touch as a performer. “This Is It” shows just how serious his dedication to his craft is in making these last concerts unlike anything people have ever seen before. I came out of this documentary feeling like I was lucky enough to get a front row seat with all those dancers who were lucky enough to be chosen to perform with their lifelong idol.

“This Is It” features interviews throughout of the dancers and the band chosen to join Jackson. While they suck up to MJ more than is comfortable taking in, it reminds us of what a powerful impact Michael still had on pop culture. None of the controversies that impacted the later half of his life seemed to take away from the respect all the people had for Michael to the very end.

This documentary in the end is about Michael Jackson the performer, not of the person or a long winded biopic (recent ones have bit the big one anyway). Nothing in “This Is It” is designed to make Michael look bad in any way, shape, or form. If you want talk of him being accused of child abuse, pedophilia, or molestation (none of which he was ever found guilty of), you have to look somewhere else for that. In the end, I was glad that was the case because this is the way I prefer to remember this entertainer who laid such an enormous impact on me back in the 80’s.

“This Is It” was directed by Kenny Ortega, a well known choreographer who has been around since the 80’s and has worked on just about everything including “Hannah Montana” and “High School Musical” (haven’t seen either nor do I care to). Kenny also serves as Jackson’s show director and works closely with him over every little detail from the dance moves to the short movies that were to be included during specific songs. When he appears on film, he comes across as very professional to everyone from the special effects team, the background dancers, to MJ himself. If he had any abrasive temper tantrums or threw stuff at people, then it was left on the cutting room floor. Like Michael, he is not made to look bad here either.

Among my favorite moments in the documentary revolved around some of Jackson’s biggest hits ever. Seeing him doing the “Thriller” dance with the dancers like he did years ago in John Landis’ short film put a big smile on his face. The same went with “Beat It” which was another huge hit from that era. Michael ends up shaking his buns off at the song’s climax, and his passion for music seems to give him all the energy he needs. I watched it thinking that yes, Michael Jackson really was back. But perhaps the piece of music Michael performs here is an acapella version of “Human Nature.” Hearing him sing without any sort of accompaniment is a beautiful moment that we rarely got to see him do for a long time.

Yes, yes, yes, we’re told over and over that Jackson was not going full throttle during these rehearsals, but so the hell what? Seeing him in this imperfect state proves is far more interesting because we are so used to seeing him in overproduced pieces of entertainment. From time to time, he tells everyone that he needs to save his voice for the concerts. Losing his voice before getting to London would have caused a delay, a delay we would be rolling our eyes because we wouldn’t know any better. But even if he’s performing his signature dance moves at a mere 60%, he still instills an overwhelming sense of passion and dedication in all those around him. You never doubt how serious he is about these shows, and when he says “God bless you” time and time again, it is clear that he is not faking any sort of emotion in saying that.

Over the years, Michael had proven to be an immense flake, and I don’t just mean to his coming late to his own criminal trial. It wasn’t too long ago that he showed up hours late to concerts and instead had some bizarre appearances from Marlon Brando talking about children being butchered overseas. It’s not like when he got inducted into the Music Hall of Fame and didn’t bother to sing any songs, not even “Billie Jean.” It may have to be seen to be believed that Michael was fully geared into making these concerts count, and you come out of “This Is It” believing that he would have made an incredible comeback had he lived.

With Ortega’s documentary, I came out of it very thankful to have gotten an idea of what his concerts would have been like. Michael was putting on quite the extravaganza that would never have been forgotten. His final bow would have been a great one, and it feels like a real tragedy that it never was. All that he was accused of over the years was almost completely forgotten as I watched him here, and what was left reminded me more of how exciting my friends and I found him to be back in the 1980’s in elementary school. There was no bigger entertainer back then.

***½ out of ****

“Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour”
2008
*½ out of ****
Director: Bruce Hendricks
Cast: Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, Billy Ray Cyrus


Preface: Before I begin writing this review, let me begin saying that I never watched the show “Hannah Montana.” So if I’m completely missing the point of the show, don’t curse me out. Send the death threats to my e-mail address please.


Earlier this weekend, some bastards spent their hard-earned money on a concert film called “Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour.” A ticket cost fifteen bucks a pop, and the money-grubbing bastards at Disney couldn’t even give the audience an hour and a half movie. At the end of the weekend, the bastards at Disney made twenty-nine million on the film. I guess they would rather have money from their movies than the characters at Disney World participate enthusiastically in park events.

So, can someone fill me in on a little something-something… what the hell is this phenomenon called “Hannah Montana?” How does someone who lip-synchs into a microphone get so much fame compared to someone who actually sings? Here’s a better question – what is the point of a movie? Being that there is an hour and fifteen minute music video, you’re guaranteed to not see one of your favorite songs on here. I know that a couple people bitched, whined, and moaned when their favorite wasn’t played at the end of the movie, but seriously, who the hell cares? Go get tickets for the damn thing and stop your bitching. (Or better yet, don’t. Maybe we won’t have to see the light of day for an actual film).

So what can I start complaining about first? Let’s start the complaining about the 3D glasses. Sure, they are pretty damn good glasses, but it feels more like beer goggles than 3D glasses. I felt so trippy after the movie that it’s like I drank more than Tom Brady during a post-Super Bowl party…

Oh we lost… sheesh I can’t remember. Another round, Bud.

Let’s also start talking about the 3D itself. Being as I’m not a big fan of actual 3D because it gives me headaches, I was actually kind of pleased when I kind of figured out that everything 3D was more of a marketing gimmick instead of a 3D film. The previews were more 3D than the entire film was. Most of the 3D was in the opening credits and the people in the crowd waving their hands and cell-phones (which I found it COMPLETELY unfair that those bastards in the video took videos with their cell-phones and we’re not supposed to).

Before I get onto the performers, which mainly consist of Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers, I want to talk about the choreography. I don’t know if many of you know it, but the guy who choreographed this was the guy who choreographed “High School Musical” and its sequel. This can either go both ways. If you like “High School Musical,” maybe you can tolerate “Best of Both Worlds.” If not, well, “Strange Wilderness” is playing across the hall, as is “Cloverfield” and “No Country For Old Men.” But you know me, I’m NOT a fan of “High School Musical,” and in fact, I hate it more than the people who were kicking my chair during the movie, but let’s be frank here. The choreography was decent. Even I could admit that it was so damn good dance moves. Finally, we have a dance movie that doesn’t take place in the hood…

So let’s begin by talking about the Jonas Brothers, the less talented half of the film, and it’s true… THEY’RE LESS TALENTED BUT EQUALLY AS FRUITY! Although they don’t come until halfway through the movie, their whiney and bitchy voices got to me once their “hit” song “Year 3000” came on. Did it ever occur to them that they sound like a bunch of prisoners in a jail-cell getting ass-raped by a big fat guy? To quote Jackie Gleason, “How sweet it is!”

And finally, we come to a closing point when I bring up the star of Hannah Montana, Ms. Cyrus. I’m sure she has just as much talent on her left ass-crack than Lindsay Lohan does throughout her whole body, and I’m sure that she is a total role-model for children, but I don’t get it. She lip-synchs all of her songs (and it is quite obvious, especially in that one song where they have even admit that she does) and she covers it up just as well as Britney Spears did at last year’s VMAs. And I kind of find it hard that every little girl, every teenaged girl, and every woman who wishes she was like Miley Cyrus didn’t noticed the way Cyrus was acting throughout the film, like a sarcastic little brat. If she dare moaned the word ‘mommy’ throughout the film again, she would be pissing out ovaries.

But as much as I don’t want to admit it, I’ll own up to it and say that I’m kind of glad that I saw “Best of Both Worlds” on the big screen. Sure, I didn’t really like it, but it’s one of those movies that you just have to experience. Because if you don’t, you pretty much lose out. “Hannah Montana” fans must go see this film in the theaters with other “Hannah Montana” fans, and truth to be told, anyone that really likes big events would probably like it.

Just don’t expect a lot of Billy Ray Cyrus. You will be disappointed.