Big Air Studios send us information on the theatrical date for their upcoming release of "The Hole 3D". The film is latest film by director Joe Dante(Gremlins). "The Hole 3D" is will playing in 4 Atlanta Cinemas and Los Angeles at the Downtown Independent Theater starting tommorow.

If you can make it those cities, "The Hole" will be available this tuesday on DVD and Blu-Ray.

Press Release:

From director Joe Dante comes a 3D thriller that explores the fears and secrets buried deep within the human mind. After moving into a new neighborhood, brothers Dane and Lucas, along with their neighbor Julie, discover a bottomless hole in the basement of their home. They find that once the hole is exposed, evil is unleashed. With strange shadows lurking around every corner and nightmares coming to life, they are forced to come face to face with their darkest fears to put an end to the mystery of THE HOLE.

Complete Theatrical Listings:

Downtown Independent Theater
251 S. Main St.
Los Angeles, CA 90012

AMC Southlake 24
7065 Mount Zion Circle
Morrow, GA 30260

AMC Barrett Commons
2600 Cobb Place Lane Northwest
Kennesaw, GA 30144

AMC Colonial 18
825 Lawrenceville Suwanee Road
Lawrenceville, GA 30043

AMC North Dekalb
2042 Lawrenceville Highway
Decatur, GA 30033

"The Hole": Official Trailer

Anchor Bay Film has send us information about the upcoming DVD and Blu-Ray 3D/Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack release of "Bait 3D". The film starring Xavier Samuel (The Loved Ones), Alex Russell (Chronicle), and Julian McMahon (Fantastic Four) will be hitting stores on September 18th.

Special Features on the Blu-Ray and DVd includes a gallery of original production storyboards.

Press Release:

Anchor Bay Films announces the September 18th release of BAIT 3D on DVD, Blu-ray™ and Blu-ray + DVD Combo Pack. Natively shot in 3D, and filled with terrifying special effects and blood-thirsty great white sharks, Bait 3D a fun and action-packed thrill ride. SPR is $29.99 for the Blu-ray™ 3D, Blu-ray™ and DVD combo, and $24.98 for the DVD. Special features include includes a gallery of original production storyboards. Pre-book is August 16th.

This intense 3D thriller tells the story of a group of survivors in a sleepy beach town who suddenly find themselves trapped inside a submerged supermarket, following a freak tsunami.

As they try to escape to safety, they soon discover that there is a predator among them more deadly than the threat of drowning—vicious great white sharks lurking in the water, hungry for fresh meat. As the bloodthirsty sharks begin to pick the survivors off one by one, the group realizes that they must work together to find a way out without being eaten alive.

Bait 3D features a stellar ensemble cast including Xavier Samuel (The Twilight Saga: Eclipse), Sharni Vinson (Step Up 3D), Alex Russell (Chronicle), and Julian McMahon (Fantastic Four).

Lionsgate has send us information that their upcoming film "Dredd 3D"."Dredd 3D" will kick off this year's San Diego Comic Con on Wednesday, July 11th, 10PM at Reading Cinemas Gaslamp. 701 5th Ave., San Diego. The film's star Karl Urban will be on hand to introduce the film.

To learn more about the above, and register for the exclusive screening, visit www.JudgementIsComing.com and retweet DREDD 3D's tweet! #JudgementIsComing

For more information, you can also visit and "Like" the film's official Facebook page at : http://www.facebook.com/dreddthemovie

"Press Release"

We're excited to announce that Lionsgate is kicking off San Diego Comic Con 2012 with an Advance Screening of Dredd 3D!!

**SCREENING:

When: Wednesday, July 11th, 10:00PM
Where: Reading Cinemas Gaslamp. 701 5th Ave., San Diego
Note: Star Karl Urban will introduce the screening!

To learn more about the above, and register for the exclusive screening, visit www.JudgementIsComing.com and retweet DREDD 3D's tweet! #JudgementIsComing

The long awaited adaptation of “The Adventures of Tintin” certainly has a lot going for it. You have Steven Spielberg doing an animated movie for the first time, and he’s doing it along with “The Lord of the Rings’” Peter Jackson which makes this a great combo of talents. It’s a performance capture movie along the lines of “The Polar Express” and “Avatar,” and the technology behind those movies is astonishing. You also have Edgar Wright, director of “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World,” listed as one of its screenwriters.

And yet when it was all over and the lights went up, I found myself feeling indifferent to the movie overall. There’s a lot to admire about “The Adventures of Tintin,” and it is certainly a feast for the eyes. But I was surprised to find myself getting a little bored at times as the movie lost some of its focus and has as its main character a young boy who comes out of all these hair-raising predicaments largely unscathed.

Perhaps it’s my fault that I was expecting something with more depth than I should have. This is based on the famous comic book series created by Belgian artist Hergé (Georges Remi), and its characters are presented here pretty much as they originally appeared. Tintin is a young journalist who, along with his dog Snowy, solves mysteries which fall in his path and then writes stories about them once their truth has been discovered. It’s nice to see a movie about a journalist crusading for the truth as they seem so hard to find in the real world today.

I know I’m being unfair in wanting Tintin to have more dimension. In the end, he is a comic book character who doesn’t need much explanation. There is indeed something cool about a kid as young as him being so knowledgeable about things and of having his own apartment and no boss hanging over his head reminding him of a deadline approaching. But the thing that makes Tintin so cool is what takes away from him at the same time; he doesn’t seem to suffer much throughout all he does, and he comes out of death-defying situations with no real bruises to show for them.

Yes, yes, I know he’s an animated character and that this world is not meant to truly resemble reality. Maybe I should blame this all on the photorealism of the characters and their settings. This kind of computer animation amazes me still in how the line between what’s real and what’s animated becomes truly blurred. The attention to detail on not just characters but their skin and clothing make them seem incredibly real, and it’s amazing to take in. But the more real they become onscreen, the less human they seem in retrospect.

Other critics blame this motion capture animation technique for doing everything except getting rid of that dead look in everyone’s eyes. In this movie’s case, I see what they mean. Emotionally, I never felt fully connected to Tintin or the other characters as much as I wanted to. This ended up making the action seem a lot less thrilling than it was.

Spielberg to his credit stages some incredible action set pieces which are spectacular in how they are conceived. One in particular seems like an endless shot with the good and bad guys traveling all over town while battling one another for precious information, and I almost found myself applauding it after its glorious climax. Still, everything feels lacking in soul which is surprising as you cannot doubt that the filmmakers truly put their heart and soul into this project.

The great thing about “The Adventures of Tintin” is in its casting. Jamie Bell gives Tintin a good dose of innocence that is thankfully tempered with a maturity beyond his years, and he makes you believe that this intrepid reporter can get away with doing the impossible. Daniel Craig, whose voice is hard to recognize at first, makes a convincingly despicable villain out of Sakharine. There’s also a couple of welcome supporting performances from those hilarious Brits Simon Pegg and Nick Frost as identical looking detectives with the same last name (but spelled differently).

The best performance in “The Adventures of Tintin” however belongs to Andy Serkis who, along with “Rise of the Planet of the Apes,” had quite the year in 2011. As the drunken Captain Haddock, he is a force to be reckoned with and creates an unforgettable character that is as funny as he is at times pitiful. Serkis disappears into this character in much the same way he did as Gollum, Caesar, or even King Kong to where we don’t feel like we’re watching an actor at all. Heck, even if this wasn’t an animated movie, I still think that would be the case.

Serkis is also the only actor not to be upstaged by Tintin’s loyal dog Snowy, a fox terrier that is as clever as his owner. Snowy ends up giving that dog Ewan McGregor and Christopher Plummer owned in “Beginners” a run for its money in the cuteness department. It truly was a memorable year for terrier dogs in movies!

This is all the more proof that Serkis damn well deserves an Oscar nomination for either this or his brilliant performance in “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.” C’mon, you can’t leave this guy out during awards season!

As much as I’ve come to abhor 3D in movies, it actually was done very well here. The picture wasn’t too dark, and the 3D was never used in a gimmicky way. Much like Robert Zemeckis did in “Beowulf,” Spielberg and Jackson give the visuals a dimension which makes them stretch out from behind the characters, immersing us even more into their grand adventures. You can get away with watching this one in 2D if you want, but the extra few bucks for that added dimension won’t be a waste.

This movie does feel cleverly inspired by Spielberg’s own “Raiders of the Lost Ark” which this past year reached its 30^th anniversary. There’s even a line from that movie which feels purposefully inserted into this one:

“Once again, what was briefly yours is now mine!”

Spielberg certainly hasn’t lost his sense of adventure with “Tintin,” and it’s not entirely his fault that this movie at times feels lacking in Indiana Jones’ exhilarating inventiveness. It’s certainly not a terrible movie, and you are better off taking your kids to see this than that “Alvin and the Chipmunks” sequel which just makes you hate those animals for existing at all. I really wanted to like this movie a lot more than I did. Maybe I came in expecting more from it than I should have, but it’s hard to deny that fun Spielberg and Jackson had in making this one doesn’t fully transfer over to the audience.

There will probably be a sequel (directed by Jackson) in the future. I’m certainly not against seeing it when it comes out.

* * ½ out of * * * *

Castel Film Studio send us information that Brenden Fraser will be reuniting with "Journey To the Center of the Earth" director Eric Brivig for the family action film "William Tell: 3D". They also announced that Arclight Films will be handling sales for the film.

Press Release:

Producer Todd Moyer has announced that Eric Brevig will direct Brendan Fraser in the historical family action adventure WILLIAM TELL: 3D, to be shot in spring 2011 in Romania. Brevig, who replaces Nick Hurran at the helm of the film, also directed JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH and YOGI BEAR; both pictures grossed over $US100 million each domestically and over half a billion worldwide theatrically. Brevig is also known as a visual effect supervisor, who won a special achievement Academy Award® in Special Effects for TOTALL RECALL was nominated for PEARL HARBOR and HOOK. Other VFX credits include MEN IN BLACK, THE ISLAND and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

Moyer says, “We’re delighted to reunite Eric Brevig with Brendan Fraser; family action adventure is exactly what Brendan and Eric do best. Eric’s skills and experience will make this film compete with any studio film.” Owing to the change in director, brand-new, original script by Chad and Evan Law (SIX BULLETS; THE HERO; THE HIT LIST), advancing winter weather in Eastern Europe and pre-production time, Moyer expects principal photography to begin in mid-March 2012 Castel Studios in Romania and on location in Switzerland. The budget’s been upped to an estimated $27 million sourced from a Chicago hedge fund. Gary Hamilton’s Arclight Pictures will handle international distribution of the film at Toronto.

William Tell is a legend in North America for shooting an apple from the top of his son’s head with a bow and arrow (it was really a crossbow). What Americans don’t know is that he’s a revered historical figure in Europe. In the legend, Tell just can’t leave well enough alone. The local potentate of the Hapsburg monarch, Hermann Gessler forces Tell to shoot the apple because he refused to bow before Gessler’s hat, erected in a town square. Tell succeeds in cleanly (and safely) cleaving the fruit and wins his and his son’s freedom.

But Gessler asks Tell why he had two arrows is his quiver, and Tell replies he was going to shoot Gessler with the second if he’d missed. Tell’s defiance of Gessler ignited an uprising against the Austrian government which led to the formation of Switzerland.

A veteran of dozens of films and one of America’s most charming leading men, Brendan Fraser’s best known for playing amiable archaeologist Rick O’Connell in the three blockbuster MUMMY films for Universal; he’s also starred in EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES, GODS AND MONSTERS, CRASH and SCHOOL TIES. Fraser’s shot a number of new films in recent months, including the “fish heist” comedy WHOLE LOTTA SOLE, GIMME SHELTER, and the animated ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH. Fraser’s repped by CAA, Joanne Colonna with Brillstein Entertainment Partners and attorney Patti Felker.

I saw “Jackass 3D” on the same day that I saw “Paranormal Activity 2.” Believe it or not, these two films have a lot in common. Sure, one is a comedy (an extraordinarily painful one at that) while the other fits more comfortably into the horror genre. Still, the differences are only skin deep. Both movies have you going in and knowing that what you are about to watch will be unsettling and far more disturbing than you can guess. You keep waiting for something awful to happen, and you’re never sure if you can keep looking at the screen when it does. Long after leaving the theater, I still can’t figure out which one had a more visceral or unsettling impact on me.

“Jackass 3D” comes at the 10^th anniversary of the franchise which started back in 2000. After watching the stunts performed here and then re-watching them in slow motion, it’s astonishing that all these guys have lasted as long as they have. I’ve watched several episodes of the show when it was on MTV, and I laughed so damn hard at some of the things they pulled off. For some bizarre reason though, I never got around to watching the first two movies perhaps because I listened a little too much to the warnings of friends, one who told me point blank that they had scenes that “no man should ever have to witness.” But with the latest one being in 3D, I got sick of listening to people giving me reasons not to see it.

So you don’t have to worry about me comparing this particular “Jackass” movie to the others which hopefully is a plus. It also gives me an incentive to take the time to watch the previous two, and on an empty stomach for sure. But just about everyone is back for this one: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, Ryan Dunn, Chris Pontius, Ehren McGhehey, Preston Lacy, Dave England, and Jason "Wee Man" Acuña. All are here to prove that after all these years, their sadomasochistic escapades are as painful as much as they are fun. It makes me wonder how these guys spend their time when they are not on camera. At least they have a sense of humor about their work.

Basically, it’s just like the TV show in that there’s no plot, just randomly placed stunts, some of which are beyond belief. I kept wondering (perhaps even hoping) that CGI effects were utilized because man they looked painful! There’s the High Five which has Knoxville body slamming unsuspecting cast and crew members with a giant plaster hand which is released at quite a high velocity. Then you have the game of tetherball where the ball is filled with Africanized bees, and neither guy there lasts long in that. We also get to watch Johnny Knoxville trying to catch a football and eventually getting slammed to the Astroturf by football player Jared Allen who has at least 20 pounds on Knoxville. And there are those stunts that need no explanation like the Lamborghini Tooth Pull…

With its use of slow motion, “Jackass 3D” is a hair-raising reminder of just how exquisitely painful those instant replays from football could be. Does anyone remember when Tim Krumrie got one of his legs snapped in half during the Super Bowl between the Bengals and the 49ers? Watching some of these guys landing on what looks like their necks inadvertently brought that to my attention.

But then there are the other stunts like the Sweatsuit Cocktail and the Poo Cocktail Supreme. Now these really need no explanation… But since I brought them up, I have to tell you that the Sweatsuit Cocktail almost literally made me hurl. It involved one of the Jackass crew exercising on one of those stationary bikes, and the sweat coming off his body was collected in one of those plastic Dixie cups. Guess what Steve-O did with that cup… Man I am glad I didn’t eat lunch before seeing this!

So what is different about this particular episode of Jackass? I guess it’s that everyone is sober this time. This was done to the benefit of Steve-O who went through some highly publicized substance abuse issues. When they started making “Jackass 3D,” he had been clean for two years. But seriously, if you were foolish enough to perform any stunts (please don’t), wouldn’t you want to be the least bit inebriated?

Not to worry though, those warnings of how these stunts are performed by professionals and that you should not attempt them on your own are on display at the beginning and the end of the movie. But really, why would you even think of doing any of them on your own? I’m not just talking about the Sweatsuit Cocktail, which I am fairly confident you will not tip the bartender for. Isn’t the whole point of enjoying “Jackass” in watching people do things you know you’re NOT supposed to be doing? Is there another show you can think of where people like Johnny Knoxville get off on such exquisite pain and still have a good laugh about it?

For me, the movie is a mixed bag in that there are a lot of insane moments you can’t help but combust in sheer laughter over, and then there are others where you have an immense urge to look away. But laughter does seem to win out for those willing to endure the more painful moments of “Jackass 3D,” and there are more of them than you might expect. Movies that make me laugh as hard as this one did cannot be easily dismissed.

Actually, the main difference about this particular “Jackass” is the fact that it was shot in 3D. This ends up giving the stunts more dimensions than anyone in the cast. Now pay attention: it was not reformatted into 3D, it was actually shot that way. The 3D effects here are actually very good in putting you right into the action, perhaps closer than you would ever be humanly comfortable. It’s not full of cheap 3D effects where things are just hurled at you on the big screen… That is, except for the dildo shot out of a cannon and made to look like it is flying around the world until it smashes into some guy’s head.

I also got to tell you, male full frontal nudity continues making a comeback long after its breakthrough in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” It’s not the first thing you would think of to hit a baseball with, but hey, this is “Jackass” for crying out loud! All the same, I probably shouldn’t go into too much detail over the Helicockter as it is as painful as it sounds. Then again, I would prefer it to that model town getting covered by a sudden explosion of excrement.

So anyway, you have been warned. “Jackass 3D” is by no means meant to be watched on a full stomach unless you wanna take bets over who’s going to purge first after your collective visit to the Cheesecake Factory. This one had me laughing like crazy, and I was on the edge of my seat every bit as much when I was watching “Paranormal Activity 2.” Perhaps it was even more terrifying than “Paranormal Activity 2.” Well, at least with those movies, you don’t see anything too disgusting being shown. With “Jackass 3D,” no detail is spared and nothing is left to the imagination (not completely anyway).

Once again, you have been warned…

*** out of ****

Alright! As a last farewell to the 2010 summer movie season before we head into fall with all the “prestige” movies vying for Oscar gold, we get one last of pure trash that is very entertaining. Lord knows we need movies like these every once in awhile to unwind and revel in the sheer ridiculousness of its scenario, and they certainly help us to appreciate the great ones even more. The filmmakers behind “Piranha 3D” are very aware of the fact that they are making a completely cheesy movie with boatloads of blood, gore, and nudity on display with an additional dimension for your viewing pleasure. It’s a throwback to those 80’s movies that took themselves more seriously than they had any right to, but this one accepts itself for the bloody joke that it is. You can either take it for what it is or despise it for the same reason. I’m fine with it as it is.

“Piranha 3D” was directed by Alexandre Aja who is best known for his heavily censored horror import “High Tension” as well as his remake of “The Hills Have Eyes,” one of the few of its kind that was actually worth watching. Alexandre’s movies in general have a very raw edge to them to where you never feel safe anymore then the characters do, but with this particular remake, he lets loose and allows himself and the audience to have more fun than we could ever expect. Alexandre makes this very clear when he opens the movie on a drunken Richard Dreyfuss who is sitting in his small boat fishing on a lake while singing “Show Me The Way To Go Home.” Yup folks, he’s sending up his role of Matt Hooper from “Jaws,” and we see him wearing the same clothes and even drinking the same beer as his character did in that classic. Of course, his Hooper-like character meets a Quint-like end when those sharp-toothed fishes tear him apart in record time. It’s a first sign that this may not be the right kind of movie for vegetarians. Truth be told, Quint had it a lot easier in retrospect.

Click here to read the full review

DIRECTED BY
Paul W.S. Anderson

STARRING
Milla Jovovich - Alice
Ali Larter - Claire Redfield
Kim Coates - Bennett
Shawn Roberts - Albert Wesker
Sergio Peris-Mencheta - Angel Ortiz
Spencer Locke - K-Mart
Boris Kodjoe - Luther West
Wentworth Miller - Chris Redfield
Sienna Guillory - Jill Valentine

Genre - Horror/Science Fiction/Action/Zombies/Video Games

Running Time - 97 Minutes


With its fourth film out this weekend, RESIDENT EVIL has officially become the most successful video game franchise of all time. Who knew in 2002 that this video game adaptation would still be talked about, in good and in bad, would spawn a motion picture quadrology? The film really wasn't all that good and left a lot to be desired. It probably didn't deserve as many sequels as its gotten. Yet, here I am again discussing another RESIDENT EVIL flick, this time titled AFTERLIFE.

RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE is a sort of rebirth of sorts for the franchise. For one, it has brought the original director [and Milla Jovovich's husband/baby daddy] Paul W.S. Anderson back to direct and write. It also brings back the more claustrophobic feel of the first film where interior shots take precedence over exterior shots. And it also adds more Resident Evil game characters than ever before, with Chris and Claire Redfield, Jill Valentine, the Executioner Majini from Resident Evil 5, and one of the coolest villains, Albert Wesker, all appearing in one film [Leon Kennedy will probably be in the next film at this rate]. But the biggest addition of all is the 3D elements that seems to become the popular thing to do these days, for better or for worse.

If you've read my three previous RESIDENT EVIL reviews, you know I'm not the biggest fan of this franchise. I love the games but the films just make me scratch my head. Still, I find some enjoyment in them and I can see why people love these films so much. I wasn't really eager to see RE: AFTERLIFE. But I felt I had to complete this franchise before my sanity returned and warned me to stay away.

My only wish for the film was that it was better than that stinker, RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION. And thankfully, my wish came true. RE: AFTERLIFE is definitely better than its previous installment. Still, the same problems linger and show why this franchise has gone longer than it probably should have.

PLOT
Continuing four years after EXTINCTION, Alice (Milla Jovovich) and her countless clones have infiltrated the Umbrella Corporation building in Tokyo, Japan. They murder everything in sight, going after Umbrella's head honcho, Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts). Wesker is one step ahead of Alice, murdering all of the clones in a massive explosion and escaping in a bulletproof plane. Predictably, the real Alice is already boarded on the plane to stop Wesker. Unfortunately, she's too busy getting one-liners in that she is vulnerable to Wesker injecting her with a new Umbrella serum that strips Alice completely of her superpowers, making her fully human. The plane crashes, but both manage to survive.

Six months later, Alice finally arrives at Alaska to find Arcadia, the haven where the non-infected are staying at. But Alice quickly realizes that there is no Arcadia in Alaska. Soon after, she reunites with Claire Redfield (Ali Larter), who has a spider device on her chest [created by Umbrella] to wipe her away of her memories and control her. Alice removes the device, taking Claire and herself to Los Angeles - now overrun by zombies [or paparazzi, what's the difference?]. They land on top of a building where they meet with more survivors: basketball player Luther West (Boris Kudjoe), TV producer Bennett (Kim Coates), actress Crystal (Kacey Barnfield), and Chris Redfield (Wentworth Miller) who happens to be a cop and also Claire's older brother. The survivors point Alice and Claire towards the real Arcadia, which is a ship in the Pacific Ocean. But before the survivors can get there, they must encounter zombies, Genados infected with the Los Pragas parasite, The Executioner Majini, and a superpowered Albert Wesker himself.

REVIEW
RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE is pretty much the same as the three previous installments. We get the usual lack of logical story. We get the wooden acting from everyone involved. We get decent amount of action. And the direction is what it is. The only difference is that Paul W.S. Anderson actually filmed the film in James Cameron's 3D Fusion Camera System, the same technique used to film AVATAR. And to be honest, this film would be a waste of time without the 3D thrown in. While not great, it does help the experience in watching RE: AFTERLIFE.

To discuss the lack of story and character development would be pretty much pointless. This franchise isn't known for deep, fascinating stories and their interesting and colorful characters. And RE: AFTERLIFE doesn't change that. I should be overlooking this aspect of the movie and praising it for at least being consistent in its "storytelling", but that wouldn't be fair as a reviewer to do that. I could ignore the lazy screenplay if other things in the film compensated for it. But there isn't enough action, visual style, or great acting for me to do that.

The fact is, we're in a fourth film in this franchise and we still have NO idea who Alice is. I will praise Anderson for stripping away her powers, which I had issues with for a while now. It actually makes Alice vulnerable now and gives her a new dimension to her character. Well it should have if he had allowed Alice to deal with the fact that she doesn't have an advantage over Umbrella anymore. But we never get a scene like that. In fact, it's like Alice hasn't changed except that she doesn't use her psychic powers anymore. She survives plane crashes, battles with The Executioner Majini and Wesker, and swinging away from zombies as if her powers never left. It wasn't a really effective plot point at all, even though it was the right move to make.

And then we have the other characters, whose only character development are their names and occupations. The newer characters didn't bother me much anyway because they were zombie food anyway. But Claire still doesn't feel like Claire. And Chris is as bland as they come. And even though the two are siblings, they hardly talk to each other or share scenes together. Some backstory for these characters would be nice. Just throw your fans a bone here!

And Wesker is okay, but he doesn't do enough to really effect you as this major villain. He's an awesome character in the video game franchise, who has a long history with Umbrella and S.T.A.R.S. In the film, he's treated as an Agent Smith ripoff from THE MATRIX. The character deserved better, even though I didn't hate the portrayal all that much. He should have been in the film more to really matter.

I will say that the narrative is a lot simplier now, and it doesn't have many subplots that distract the flow of the film. We clearly understand the goals of the characters and it's followed through pretty much. There's no more experimenting on clones. There's no more moments of Alice's eyes changing to reflect her new powers. It's pretty much kept as a small group of survivors trying to make to a place where they live safely without infection. The story felt closer to tone to the first RESIDENT EVIL, which was kind of refreshing.

I will praise RE: AFTERLIFE for having the best action in the franchise so far. The opening sequence with the Alice clones is pretty cool and ties up that sub-plot as best as Anderson could write it with his capabilities. The ending with Wesker is more of a skirmish than an actual battle, but it was cool to see the Wesker from the video games using his superpowers on Alice and the gang. The best action sequence was the one with the Executioner Majini. That dude is intimidating in Resident Evil 5 and he was pretty imtimidating here as well. I wish they had explained who he was or where he came from, but this is a RESIDENT EVIL film we're talking about. They just supply questions, not answers. Still, I thought the action was handled well for the most part and kept me from being bored, although the dead spots were pretty obvious as the film went along.

The direction by Paul W.S. Anderson is a mixed bag. The pacing is off at times due to the fact that we get massive amounts of action, then a period where characters just talk and walk around, followed by more action, followed by talking and walking, and etc. This wouldn't have been an issue if the talking and walking was shot in a more interesting manner. Also, Anderson loves his MATRIX-like slow motion filmmaking, to the point where it started to annoy me after a while. I don't think this was more worse than during the fight between Alice/Claire vs. The Executioner Majini. There was times during that sequence where I actually felt a bit of tension and suspense, but then Anderson ruins it by filming portions in slow motion. It just ruined everything! Without the slow motion, this fight would have been pretty awesome for a RESIDENT EVIL movie. But it completely takes you out of it. And the way it was framed as well was just awkward. You have to see it to understand. Other than that, the film looks good. The editing was tight. And the 3D, while not the greatest I've seen, is actually very well done. You get a bunch of things flying at you, like weapons, blood, brain matter, and other stuff. I thought a lot of it was very cool and it definitely made the viewing experience a lot better than it probably should have been.

The acting in RE: AFTERLIFE is pretty bad. Milla Jovovich is still bland as Alice, although I will say that this is her best acting performance as the character since the first one. She still does action very well and she was emoting a bit more at times, which was nice to see. I think she was more game for this one since her husband was the director. But I didn't mind Jovovich at all. Ali Larter, on the other hand, is no Claire Redfield. She's a better actress than this but she's just wooden as hell here. I have to blame Anderson for not bringing out more from her, but it wasn't a great performance at all. Wentworth Miller is just as bland as Chris. He tries to be this badass but just comes off looking bad. He doesn't get to do much either. Shawn Roberts was also wooden as Wesker, but he had his moments. And Boris Kudjoe as Luther West was okay as well. He seemed to be more into the film than the other actors.

And stay after the end credits to see a familiar face return to the movie franchise. From the looks of it, I'm kind of interested in the next installment. I can't believe I just wrote that...

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE THROWING THESE WORDS TOWARDS YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN

- Always walk away from a hot girl standing in the rain for no reason. She's probably a zombie. Or thinks she's participating in a wet T-shirt contest. Dead and stupid - not exactly an attractive combination.

- Don't ask Wesker questions. He'll just shoot you in the head. Or make you watch him in DIARY OF THE DEAD. No one deserves either fate.

- Even though she was stripped of her powers, Alice still managed to survive a plane crash without much injury. If only John Denver had his DNA manipulated by Umbrella...

What? Too soon?

- Alice arrived in Alaska, disappointed to find out that Arcadia wasn't there. Well, Arcadia hasn't been around since the mid-80s. She should have known that the members are back in Duran Duran now.

- Chris Redfield was locked inside a cage, saying he knew the way out towards Arcadia. Well if anyone knows how to break out of prisons, it's this guy.

- Alice and Claire took care of the Executioner Majini. The only thing better would have been receiving an achievement or a trophy for 50 GS for sitting through it.

THE FINAL HOWL
If you're a fan of the RESIDENT EVIL movie franchise, then you'll enjoy RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE. If you're not a fan, then stay far away. I'm in the middle when it comes to these films. I enjoy them as mindless entertainment, but it's becoming obvious this franchise needs to end sooner than later. Still, it's an improvement over EXTINCTION and I can't say I wasn't entertained. RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE is a film I wouldn't mind watching on DVD or cable every once in a while. But I wouldn't spend 18 dollars to see this in a theater, even if the 3D helps the film a decent deal. No movie is worth that much, especially this one. But it was better than I was expecting it to be and I'm pretty satisfied by that.

SCORE
1.5 Howls Outta 4

“Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour”
2008
*½ out of ****
Director: Bruce Hendricks
Cast: Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, Billy Ray Cyrus


Preface: Before I begin writing this review, let me begin saying that I never watched the show “Hannah Montana.” So if I’m completely missing the point of the show, don’t curse me out. Send the death threats to my e-mail address please.


Earlier this weekend, some bastards spent their hard-earned money on a concert film called “Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour.” A ticket cost fifteen bucks a pop, and the money-grubbing bastards at Disney couldn’t even give the audience an hour and a half movie. At the end of the weekend, the bastards at Disney made twenty-nine million on the film. I guess they would rather have money from their movies than the characters at Disney World participate enthusiastically in park events.

So, can someone fill me in on a little something-something… what the hell is this phenomenon called “Hannah Montana?” How does someone who lip-synchs into a microphone get so much fame compared to someone who actually sings? Here’s a better question – what is the point of a movie? Being that there is an hour and fifteen minute music video, you’re guaranteed to not see one of your favorite songs on here. I know that a couple people bitched, whined, and moaned when their favorite wasn’t played at the end of the movie, but seriously, who the hell cares? Go get tickets for the damn thing and stop your bitching. (Or better yet, don’t. Maybe we won’t have to see the light of day for an actual film).

So what can I start complaining about first? Let’s start the complaining about the 3D glasses. Sure, they are pretty damn good glasses, but it feels more like beer goggles than 3D glasses. I felt so trippy after the movie that it’s like I drank more than Tom Brady during a post-Super Bowl party…

Oh we lost… sheesh I can’t remember. Another round, Bud.

Let’s also start talking about the 3D itself. Being as I’m not a big fan of actual 3D because it gives me headaches, I was actually kind of pleased when I kind of figured out that everything 3D was more of a marketing gimmick instead of a 3D film. The previews were more 3D than the entire film was. Most of the 3D was in the opening credits and the people in the crowd waving their hands and cell-phones (which I found it COMPLETELY unfair that those bastards in the video took videos with their cell-phones and we’re not supposed to).

Before I get onto the performers, which mainly consist of Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers, I want to talk about the choreography. I don’t know if many of you know it, but the guy who choreographed this was the guy who choreographed “High School Musical” and its sequel. This can either go both ways. If you like “High School Musical,” maybe you can tolerate “Best of Both Worlds.” If not, well, “Strange Wilderness” is playing across the hall, as is “Cloverfield” and “No Country For Old Men.” But you know me, I’m NOT a fan of “High School Musical,” and in fact, I hate it more than the people who were kicking my chair during the movie, but let’s be frank here. The choreography was decent. Even I could admit that it was so damn good dance moves. Finally, we have a dance movie that doesn’t take place in the hood…

So let’s begin by talking about the Jonas Brothers, the less talented half of the film, and it’s true… THEY’RE LESS TALENTED BUT EQUALLY AS FRUITY! Although they don’t come until halfway through the movie, their whiney and bitchy voices got to me once their “hit” song “Year 3000” came on. Did it ever occur to them that they sound like a bunch of prisoners in a jail-cell getting ass-raped by a big fat guy? To quote Jackie Gleason, “How sweet it is!”

And finally, we come to a closing point when I bring up the star of Hannah Montana, Ms. Cyrus. I’m sure she has just as much talent on her left ass-crack than Lindsay Lohan does throughout her whole body, and I’m sure that she is a total role-model for children, but I don’t get it. She lip-synchs all of her songs (and it is quite obvious, especially in that one song where they have even admit that she does) and she covers it up just as well as Britney Spears did at last year’s VMAs. And I kind of find it hard that every little girl, every teenaged girl, and every woman who wishes she was like Miley Cyrus didn’t noticed the way Cyrus was acting throughout the film, like a sarcastic little brat. If she dare moaned the word ‘mommy’ throughout the film again, she would be pissing out ovaries.

But as much as I don’t want to admit it, I’ll own up to it and say that I’m kind of glad that I saw “Best of Both Worlds” on the big screen. Sure, I didn’t really like it, but it’s one of those movies that you just have to experience. Because if you don’t, you pretty much lose out. “Hannah Montana” fans must go see this film in the theaters with other “Hannah Montana” fans, and truth to be told, anyone that really likes big events would probably like it.

Just don’t expect a lot of Billy Ray Cyrus. You will be disappointed.