Alright! As a last farewell to the 2010 summer movie season before we head into fall with all the “prestige” movies vying for Oscar gold, we get one last of pure trash that is very entertaining. Lord knows we need movies like these every once in awhile to unwind and revel in the sheer ridiculousness of its scenario, and they certainly help us to appreciate the great ones even more. The filmmakers behind “Piranha 3D” are very aware of the fact that they are making a completely cheesy movie with boatloads of blood, gore, and nudity on display with an additional dimension for your viewing pleasure. It’s a throwback to those 80’s movies that took themselves more seriously than they had any right to, but this one accepts itself for the bloody joke that it is. You can either take it for what it is or despise it for the same reason. I’m fine with it as it is.

“Piranha 3D” was directed by Alexandre Aja who is best known for his heavily censored horror import “High Tension” as well as his remake of “The Hills Have Eyes,” one of the few of its kind that was actually worth watching. Alexandre’s movies in general have a very raw edge to them to where you never feel safe anymore then the characters do, but with this particular remake, he lets loose and allows himself and the audience to have more fun than we could ever expect. Alexandre makes this very clear when he opens the movie on a drunken Richard Dreyfuss who is sitting in his small boat fishing on a lake while singing “Show Me The Way To Go Home.” Yup folks, he’s sending up his role of Matt Hooper from “Jaws,” and we see him wearing the same clothes and even drinking the same beer as his character did in that classic. Of course, his Hooper-like character meets a Quint-like end when those sharp-toothed fishes tear him apart in record time. It’s a first sign that this may not be the right kind of movie for vegetarians. Truth be told, Quint had it a lot easier in retrospect.

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You know what? The summer 2010 movie season may very well go down in history as the summer of the preposterous action movie. We’ve already had The A-Team with four guys trying to steer a parachuting tank with its turret by firing rounds out of it, then there was Tom Cruise who could do just about anything except take the time to go to the bathroom in Knight and Day (Jack Bauer had that problem too), and even the brilliant Inception employs a concept which is not at all possible (unless the military is trying to keep it a secret). And now we have Salt with Angelina Jolie which runs very rapidly through a river of plot holes and leaps in logic, and it’s just as much fun as the films I previously mentioned. Thanks to director Phillip Noyce (Clear and Present Danger, Rabbit Proof Fence) who keeps things moving at such a fast pace, there’s not much time to sit back and count all the inconsistencies. All we can do is hang on to the edge of our seats and revel in the slam bang action which has brought to us without an overuse of CGI effects.

Speaking of Tom Cruise, he was almost set to star in this film, but he feared that the character would be too close to Ethan Hunt from the Mission Impossible movies. In the end, I think Knight and Day was the better movie for Tom as we desperately wanted (and needed) to see him poke fun at himself, and that’s in spite of its disappointing box office performance. Salt is a much more serious action thriller, and its tone is not as light as you might suspect. Coming out of it, I was convinced that this role was tailor made for Jolie. There may have been several other actresses who could have pulled this role off just as well, but who comes to mind quicker than the star of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Wanted and the Tomb Raider movies?

Angelina Jolie plays CIA agent Evelyn Salt who is just about to head on home to her loving husband Mike (August Diehl) who loves to study spiders (KEEP THEM AWAY FROM ME AND MY STEP NIECE!!!) when she and her partner Ted Winter (Live Schreiber) suddenly get the opportunity to interrogate a Russian defector. During this interrogation, the defector whose name is Orlov (Daniel Olbrychski) says that soon a highly trained Russian agent will assassinate the Russian President when he visits the United States. Orlov says that the name of this agent is Evelyn Salt, and the chase is on from there. Immediately thrown under a veil of heavy suspicion, Evelyn desperately rushes out of the office to find her husband before he disappears from her life forever. Never mind abiding the law or taking the time to explain herself, she wants her husband now! When a woman gets pissed, it is in your best interest not to argue with her, especially if she is a CIA agent!

Evelyn Salt is a mixture of both Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer, and this is especially the case in how she manages to evade capture or break free from highly trained agents and officers on more than one occasion. The movie really plays on Jolie’s strengths throughout, and off the kind of person the media has perceived her to be. I say this because over the years she has been treated like some seriously deranged human being who would have sex with her bother instead of a regular person which she is if anyone actually bothered to notice. Jolie plays on these perceptions throughout Salt as we watch her in relentless pursuit of those who wish to capture and question her, and as she changes her appearance to get closer to her objective. Granted, a lot of women don’t look much like Angelina Jolie which makes her more noticeable than most, but she does make us believe she can pull off one plan after another.

I also liked the fact that by the time she comes to meet the man that will soon become her husband that you can believe she has been fully trained to all she can do. A lot of movies would almost have you believe that these characters were born with these skills and have perfected them since they were toddlers. Going back to Knight and Day with Tom Cruise, you kept wondering how his character got all his training in as he was growing up. It seemed too good to be true that he could do all the things he could do. With Jolie, you never doubt her even as the movie becomes more ridiculous by the minute. Salt is not on some ego trip and showing off just how smart and hot she is (like she really needs to anyway).

There are so many twists and turns throughout Salt that it shamelessly flaunts its illogic plot developments throughout to where we give up trying to figure it all out. Compared to many of Phillip Noyce’s other movies, this is easily the most kinetic action movie he has made to date, and that’s even compared to his Dead Calm which introduced Nicole Kidman to the world. You could complain about how things don’t add up, but Noyce never lets the pace of the movie lag for a second, and we never find the time to sort through the plot and characters while we are watching. For other movies this would be a major hindrance, but for Salt it works to its advantage. You’re too thoroughly entertained to even care if this film is messing with our head one time too many. Well, at least it’s not like your average M. Night Shyamalan movie where he tries to outsmart us long after we have begged him to stop.

In addition to the talents of Ms. Jolie, you also have the great Liev Schreiber as her partner and friend Ted Winter. Many consider Liev to be this stone-faced actor who wears the same expression in each and every movie he does, and that it makes him bad actor as a result. But that’s probably because they have never seen him act onstage, and he is beyond extraordinary with every role he takes on. Schreiber holds his own against the formidable Jolie as he desperately works to protect his friend from those who would just make her disappear upon their suspicions alone. As Ted Winter, he knows there is something fishy going on regarding Salt, and that the accusations are just that. You root for him as he gets closer and closer to getting a full idea of who she really is.

You also have Chiwetel Ejiofor (I will be able to pronounce his name someday) as Peabody, an agent above Winter who pursues Salt relentlessly. He’s the character you want to shake around and slap in the face so that he can see how wrong he is about her (or how wrong we think he is). Chiwetel has done great work over the years, most notably in Stephen Frears’ Dirty Pretty Things, and he gives more than your average one-dimensional government official who would foolishly believe a Russian defector over a loyal agent from the CIA.

We also have to give Phillip Noyce much credit for not relying on a plethora of CGI effects in Salt. When you see Angelina Jolie clinging for dear life on her apartment building from at least 12 stories up, that’s no green screen she’s hanging over (get ready for some serious vertigo). It all reminded me of how good Live Free or Die Hard was from a few years ago. That one tried to make the effects as real as possible as the filmmakers came to recognize that the typical film going audience was no longer easily fooled by effects generated by a computer. Sometimes it’s not even better than the real thing!

If there is one seriously massive complaint I have against Salt, it’s in regards to Andre Braugher’s role as the Secretary of Defense. Those of you who know me well are fully aware of what a huge die hard fan I was of the NBC cop show from the 90’s called Homicide: Life on the Street. Andre’s work on the show was beyond brilliant, and not many other actors can manipulate people through such theatrically volcanic explosions of anger. Furthermore, let us not forget his work in movies like Glory where he made the first of many memorable impressions. But in Salt, he is relegated to a role where he barely has any lines and is given far too little to do. What gives?! You want to cast Andre Braugher in a movie, then you give him a big part which is in tune with his well known talents. Stop giving him roles that could be played by anyone! It’s an insult I tells ya!!

Maybe Salt is more fun that it deserves credit for. But along with a pulsating score by James Newton Howard and some tight film editing by John Gilroy and the well regarded Stuart Baird, the movie gives you a good dose of adrenalin pumping fun that we don’t always get on the silver screen. For many, this summer movie going season has been seriously underwhelming, so we have to be thankful for anything that really enthralls us like this one. Nitpick all you want about the events in Salt, it’ll still keep you on the edge of your seat throughout.

***½ out of ****

I could never bear to give my stuffed animals away. They were a huge part of my childhood, and the thought of letting them go forever seemed so horrifying. Society expects you to give up on little dolls and stuff as you become an adult, and I honestly think that’s kind of bogus. I mean am I really supposed to stop playing with these plush friends of mine because society expects that of me? Am I supposed to permanently kill off the childlike wonder inside of me so that I look normal and hopelessly embittered like everybody else? Doesn’t that seem a bit cruel?

In the end, I didn’t need to give my prized stuffed animals away… They got eviscerated by a hideous rat that ended up tearing away at them while they sat in a trash bag in the family garage. The rat wanted their stuffing, and he (or she) left behind a lot of rat poop which had to be disposed of carefully because it spreads disease. However, all Eeyores that I have collected over the years were fine though as they had gotten preferential treatment ever since I got my first one.

It was pretty much inevitable that these cuddly friends of mine would never have the same amount of attention as the years went by. The dilemma of what to do with these things we grew up with brings about strong emotions and uncertainty, and that is what Andy faces in the latest Pixar animated extravaganza “Toy Story 3.” Coming a good 11 years after its predecessor, young Andy who had given a home and much love to these toys is now a young adult about to head off to college. His mother tells him that he can either donate his toys to a nearby daycare center, or they can just go up in the attic. Despite the fact that Andy has clearly not played with them in years, he is reluctant to let them go.

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DIRECTED BY
James Mangold

STARRING
Tom Cruise - Roy Miller
Cameron Diaz - June Havens
Peter Sarsgaard - Fitzgerald
Jordi Molla - Antonio
Viola Davis - Director George
Paul Dano - Simon Feck
Marc Blucas - Rodney
Maggie Grace - April Havens

Genre - Action/Comedy

Running Time - 110 Minutes

Score - 3 Howls Outta 4



Tom Cruise is seen as a lot of things. He's an acting veteran for the past 25+ years. He's an action star. He's a dramatic actor. He's become a comedic actor. He's a Scientologist. He's a complete nutjob. He's delusional about science and the world around him. But the most important part is that he's a huge star with a ton of box office appeal. That's right everyone, Tom Cruise knows how to bring the goods to the silver screen.

Well...that was until his KNIGHT AND DAY, 2010's supposed summer action blockbuster, failed at the box office and has become Cruise's lowest grossing action film to date. With the media backlash [even after his hilarious turn as Lou Grossman at 2010's MTV Movie Awards] and reviews from critics who pretty much bashed KNIGHT AND DAY, the film did a dismal box office take in its first weekend and has dropped dramatically ever since.

Which is a shame, because the film isn't all that bad and is made for the mindless summer blockbuster season. However, there are flaws to KNIGHT AND DAY that make it a possible watch instead of a must-see event.

PLOT
Roy Miller (Tom Cruise), is an FBI agent who may or may not have gone rogue, but is definitely in possession of a ultra-powered battery that everyone seems to want a hold of. He bumps into June Havens (Cameron Diaz) at the airport as she's about to catch a flight to Boston to attend her sister's (Maggie Grace) wedding. While June seems to be smitten with Roy, Roy is using June as a mule for the battery without her knowledge. On the flight, Roy is attacked by assassins and murders them all, taking June as a partner/hostage.

After some hilarity, Roy tells June that FBI agents (Peter Sarsgaard and Viola Davis) want this battery and that they'll tell her that he's insane and not to be trusted. Not sure who to trust at this point, June decides to go along with Roy's story, causing her to be caught up in Roy's life of espionage. Also, they fall in love...like you couldn't guess that.

REVIEW
KNIGHT AND DAY is mostly a fun, mindless action film that is a more comedic and cartoon-ish version of the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE franchise [also starring Cruise]. You're caught up in the excitement, the visuals are nice, and it's well paced. Unfortunately, there's something missing about KNIGHT AND DAY that makes it a standout.

Let's deal with the positives first. The acting is very solid in KNIGHT AND DAY. Say what you want about Tom Cruise's personal life, but no one can say he's a terrible actor. In fact, he's the best part of the film and carries it quite well. We all know Cruise can handle action and he does that fantastically here, doing most of his own stunts and having fun riding his motorcycle through Spain while bulls chase him and assassins want to shoot his brains out. But Cruise also brings on the funny here, really making Roy a certifiable lunatic in terms of his actions and behavior. This makes him engaging to watch, as he's always confidence, charismatic, and definitely excited to be on screen. I wish he had better material to play off of here, but Cruise makes it work and it's a joy to watch him do what he does best.

Cameron Diaz, who I usually find pretty annoying in most films to be honest, is actually more than okay here. She plays the confused and neurotic June to perfection and actually looks pretty cute doing it. While she does have her action moments, especially towards the end, she's mainly the girlfriend/eye candy role that we usually see in action films. But she handles it well and maintains incredible chemistry with Cruise [who already worked together in 2001's VANILLA SKY]. I wouldn't mind see them do another film together.

The other actors are also very good, but they're not given much to do. I will say that Peter Sarsgaard and Marc Blucas are the standouts in the supporting roles. Sarsgaard's role is very predictable but he does the most with it. And Blucas has a funny scene with both Cruise and Diaz that's one of the better moments in the film.

The direction by James Mangold is also very good, even though it's not his best work as a director. Comparing KNIGHT AND DAY to his work on GIRL, INTERRUPTED, 3:10 TO YUMA remake, and especially WALK THE LINE, isn't really fair. But Mangold shoots the action scenes well [even though I noticed Cruise's stunt double very clearly in one shot that made me laugh] and he keeps the film light-hearted. Mangold seems more focused on the chemistry and relationship between Roy and June rather than all the exciting stuff that's around them, which doesn't hurt the film much at all. In fact, I'm glad Mangold focused more on the comedy than on the action, since it takes stale premise and adds something to it to make it a bit staler. Nice direction all around.

The action sequences are also fun, even if they are pretty much action film norms. From the running of the bulls scene, to the rooftop chase, to shootouts in a warehouse, and to dealing with explosions on an island, they're everything you'd want in a film like this. They're over-the-top and pretty implausible, but the film never takes itself all that seriously anyway, so I have no qualms.

What makes KNIGHT AND DAY suffer, however, is the poor script by Patrick O'Neill. While the film does manage to get to point A to point B to point C, it doesn't really develop the journey much to really be memorable at the end. The subplot with the battery is sort of a McGruffin, even though it is the reason why the events occur. It felt like an afterthought to me because it wasn't really the focus of the film. I was too busy wondering why June would fall in love with Roy one minute, want to beat the shit out of him the next, and then fall right back in love all over again. I don't think characters in romantic comedies are that confused.

That brings me to the characters here. The development doesn't really exist for anyone other than Roy and June. Roy is the ultimate spy - reckless, cocky, full of expertise and superhuman abilities, and always one step ahead of everyone else. You even question if the guy is a hero or a villain, especially during the first half of the film. Obviously O'Neill was focused on Roy more than anyone. June is less developed, which you can tell because she likes to talk to herself alot to explain how she's feeling so the audience can understand - i.e. lazy screenwriting. We barely share in her family life and she seems so desperate for a man that it's off-putting at times. I was never sure what to make of June. The only thing that saved the character was Diaz's performance.

And the supporting characters really get the shaft here. June's sister is barely in the film, even though the reason June goes to Boston is for her sister's wedding. Maggie Grace gets barely three minutes of screentime. Rodney, played by Blucas, seems like a foil for Roy over June's affections, but he just comes off as a likeable dolt who also happens to be a firefighter. Not much is done with him. And Fitzgerald is pretty much a predictable action character [I won't spoil it] but Sarsgaard deserved better.

I will say I did enjoy much of the dialogue, as it was witty and funny. So that's a plus.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE NOT MAKING FUN OF TOM CRUISE'S RELIGION [OKAY...ALMOST]

- Roy and June constantly bump into each other at the airport. Either it means the two are destined to be together, or one of them is a filthy, clumsy bitch who deserves to be smacked around, even if they are holding a baby in their arms!!

...Sorry. Mel Gibson likes to possess me every once in a while. Moving on...

- Roy had to deal with assassins on an airplane. If Harrison Ford was President, those bastards would have gotten off of the plane and it's be the end of that!

- Roy hit a scarecrow while landing a plane. He should be less worried about a brain and more concerned with getting better life insurance.

- Roy managed to survive being squeezed in between two cars inside of a tunnel. That's the power of Xenu, baby!

- Roy wanted a waitress to serve everyone pie inside of a diner as he held June at gunpoint. Only on The L Word does everyone get a piece of pie, Roy. Only on The L Word.

- Roy shot Rodney in the leg as he tried to save June. Man, he used to be able to take more than that. Ever since he broke up with Buffy, his boring ass got weak!

- Roy and June got cozy on a private island. Because islands in the stream, that is what they are. No one in-between, how can they be wrong?

- June followed Roy as he tried to make a deal for the battery. Some women just don't have any faith in their man. I say don't trust a ho. Never trust a ho. Hell, I won't trust a ho 'cause the ho won't trust me.

- Don't steal someone's battery. Unlike it, you won't keep going and going and going when it explodes in your face.

THE FINAL HOWL
KNIGHT AND DAY is a good action film if you don't want to think too much. Basically, perfect for summer escapism. Unfortunately, the story is pretty weak and the characters could have been developed better for the audience to care more about what they were watching. But the acting is solid [especially by Tom Cruise, who's career ISN'T over yet] and the direction is good. It'll make a good date movie and a definite rental when it's released on DVD and Blu-Ray.

The movie version of the 80’s television show “The A-Team” has finally made its way to the big screen, and it is one of those examples of how (as U2 put it in the song “Numb”) too much is not enough. The plot is razor thin, and the stunts defy all things we see as logically possible. And you know what? I HAD SUCH A BLAST WATCHING IT!!! Many reviewers have been bemoaning that the movie was not what it could have been. I on the other hand prefer to see it for what it is, a highly entertaining film and the kind of movie you can usually expect at theaters during the summertime.

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