DIRECTED BY
Steve Shimek

STARRING
Shalaina Castle - Jordan
Brandon Sean Pearson - Cole
Clare Niederpruem - Alison
Kyle Paul - Will
Tye Nelson - Collin
Luke Drake - Officer Eric Schroeder
Richard Dutcher - Sheriff Ben
Allan Groves - Officer Marcus Larsen

Genre - Horror/Thriller/Slasher/Indie

Running Time - 90 Minutes


I remember that internet meme a couple of years back where you had to guide your mouse through a four-level maze. In each level, the paths would get narrower and narrower to the point where you would have to restart the whole thing when you touched a wall. But if you actually made it to that last level, you would get to the mid-point of the maze until *BAM* - a Pazuzu possessed Regan MacNeil from THE EXORCIST would pop up and scare the daylights out of you. Yes, I screamed like a bitch when she popped up. I'm man enough to admit it.

So why am I writing about that maze again? Because the reaction I got from it was a lot more stimulating than watching 2010's low-budget independent horror/thriller THE MAZE, which takes place in a corn field in the middle of nowhere. While not a terrible film, it won't leave you aMAZEd either. Here's the perfect example of a film that has a great idea, but can't live up to its potential due to several factors that's mostly out of its control.

PLOT
Five friends, who seem to bicker alot, decide to drive in search for a huge maze that's surrounded by rows and columns of corn stalks. Along the way, one of them brings up a story about a guy in a red hoodie stabbing and killing people, who venture through this maze, with scissors. Being the geniuses they are, they decide to head there anyway and check it out. Unfortunately by the time they arrive there, it's night and the maze is closed for the public. Being the geniuses they are, they decide to trespass and play a game of "tag" as they travel through the large maze. What they don't know is that someone wearing a red hoodie is also inside the maze, eager to attack these friends one-by-one.

REVIEW
THE MAZE could have been a pretty great horror/thriller if it had more things going for it, instead of against it. The main culprit is the lack of money to really fund a great premise like a killer in a corn field maze, as the film doesn't show us enough of what we need to see in order to make a movie like this work. The other culprit is a weak script that pretty much derails any potential or momentum THE MAZE needs to make it stand out.

Like I mentioned, the narrative is very weak because it doesn't seem to know what type of film it wants to tell. The first half of the movie is definitely a slasher, with a stalk-and-kill villain chasing after five one-dimensional characters through a corn field. The problem with the whole slasher deal is that it doesn't do what slashers are known for - nudity and graphic violence. No one gets even close to being naked in this film at all. Plus, the violence is pretty tame. There's barely any bloodshed. The kills seem to happen off-screen. And with characters that have no development at all, we need those two distractions to keep audiences invested in finishing the film. And I gotta say that the Final Girl has got to be one of the worst choices for a Final Girl in a slasher film. Not only do we know nothing about her, but she's a total bitch for most of the film. So why should I care about her survival again?

The second half of the film switches modes, becoming a thriller as the killer reveals himself and torments the Final Girl in a twist that I didn't see coming honestly. Unfortunately, I don't understand the twist's purpose because the backstory of the killer is never revealed. We have no idea why he does what he does. We have no idea why he only kills people who enter mazes of corn. We have no idea why he decides to play mind games with the lone survivor instead of killing her and getting it over with. I will say that once the killer is in his civilian clothes and actually speaks, his personality shines right through. In fact, I wanted to see more of the character. But with no clear motivations for his actions, there was definitely a piece of the puzzle missing.

And while the film was disjointed due to the change in genres, I felt the thriller portion of the movie was stronger than the slasher portion. The slasher portion dragged on for way too long, boring me to tears. The characters were very annoying, unlikable, and not even worth the time caring about. The killer should have killed them faster in my opinion. The thriller portion, while not exactly thrilling, was better paced. It went by quick and I liked the characters and acting better as well. Personally, THE MAZE should have been a shorter film, with maybe 15 dedicated to the slasher portion, and 30 minutes to the thriller portion. The film would have been more effective and the small budget would have gone to more things in the production, like maybe better actors and the graphic violence.

Nagging issues: Why would five adults drive for so many hours just to see a maze built with rows of corn husks? And why would they trespass at night, especially knowing that a killer did horrible things there? And when they did see the killer, why didn't they just run through the corn instead of actually trying to find a way out through the maze? I know horror characters are supposed to have smaller I.Q.'s than real life people, but this was pretty ridiculous.

The gore is pretty non-existent, due to the low budget. But we do get slashed throats, stabbings, gunfire, burnings, and even guillotine action. It was a very tame slasher. But I can understand why it wasn't better. With more money, the gore effects could have easily compensated for the unforgivable weak screenwriting and story structure.

The direction by Steve Shimek is more hit than miss. To get the negatives out of the way, Shimek doesn't provide enough tension or scares to satisfy horror and/or thriller audiences. We get the usual jump scares and false starts that most modern horror films rely on when there's no atmosphere to set the creepy mood. Shimek also relies on his score to provide tension and scares, but all they did was take me out of the scene. The music wasn't bad, but it just seemed to be playing during the wrong times at some spots. I also thought the pacing was off, like I mentioned earlier. The disjointing two halves didn't help either. I will say that Shimek does have some decent visual style behind the camera. There were moments in the film where slow motion his use of flashbacks worked well. I also loved the cinematography and composition of the film. It looked very professional for a small budget, with the settings and framing looking quite impressive and stunning at times. I thought the visuals were actually the best part of the film, I have to say. I would like to see what Shimek can do with better screenwriters and a bigger budget.

The acting in the film wasn't all that impressive, but it wasn't totally horrible. I will say the best actor was the killer himself. I won't say the character's name because I don't want to spoil who it is, but I dug his work in the last half of the film. Shalaina Castle was also cool as Jordan, although she annoyed me in the first half of the film.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE BUTTERING MY CORN

- "No one gets buried alive anymore." Tell that to Bill Pullman or Ryan Reynolds. I think they'd disagree with you...

- One of the characters had trouble lighting her cigarettes anytime she needs a smoke. No wonder she's single - she has no idea how to turn on things that are in her mouth.

- One of the characters got strangled to death. That's what happens when you get roped into doing a stupid maze.

- Don't bring a shotgun to a dangerous corn field. Corn will be the last thing getting popped.

- Don't get yourself trapped in a maze that has an Alice In Wonderland motif and a killer dressed in red. Once he gets his hands on you, it'll be off with your head!

THE FINAL HOWL
THE MAZE is a disappointing, mediocre low-budget horror film that could have been better if there was more money involved and if the screenplay was written better [I can forgive the budget, I can't forgive lazy writing for low or big budget films]. Still, we don't get a lot of horror films involving creepy corn fields. THE MAZE is a decent rental if you're into indie horror. Otherwise, I wouldn't bother. You wouldn't be missing a thing if you don't journey through this MAZE.

SCORE
2 Howls Outta 4

DIRECTED BY
Christian Alvart

STARRING
Renee Zellweger - Emily Jenkins
Jodelle Ferland - Lilith Sullivan
Ian McShane - Detective Mike Barron
Bradley Cooper - Douglas Ames
Callum Keith Rennie - Edward Sullivan
Kerry O'Malley - Magaret Sullivan

Genre - Horror/Thriller/Suspense/Supernatural/Evil Kids

Running Time - 109 Minutes


It must be difficult working as a social worker in a child protective services position. It can't be fun dealing with issues of child abuse, neglect, and foster care. Lately, these workers have been giving a bad rep, due to certain cases where they have failed to notice the signs of child abuse before it was too late [Nixmary Brown being the infamous one recently]. A lot of people have lost faith in these workers due to their actions [or lack thereof].

So it's no surprise that CASE 39 treats the social worker characters as incompetent and naive individuals. It's not because they don't notice children being abused. It's because they're fooled by a little girl who acts innocent, but is anything but. Unfortunately, I can't be fooled in believing this film is worth a movie ticket price this weekend when it's a rental at most. Let's open up this file and see why CASE 39 is nothing more than a mediocre "evil kid" flick.

PLOT
A child social worker named Emily Jenkins (Renee Zellweger) looks into the case of Lilith Sullivan (Jodelle Ferland), a 10-year-old girl whose parents (Callum Keith Rennie and Kerry O'Malley) don't seem quite right mentally and emotionally when it comes to Lilith. Emily believes that Lilith is being abused, but can't seem to prove it or get her supervisor to back her up without evidence. One night, Emily receives a phone call from Lilith who urgently cries for her help. Emily and her police friend Mike Barron (Ian McShane) rush over to find Lilith's parents trying to bake her in their oven. Lilith's parents are arrested and Lilith is placed in the foster care system.

After finding a family for Lilith, Lilith begs for Emily to take care of her. After some hesitation, Emily can't refuse and has temporary custody of her. Even though things start out well, things eventually get worse when people in Emily's life start dying. Emily finds out that the victims received phone calls from her home, making her suspect that Lilith is behind the murders.

REVIEW
CASE 39 is one of those films that has a lot of potential but fails to live up to it for various reasons. What could have been something more ends up being nothing but your predictable and mediocre "evil kid" film, a trend that started in 1956's THE BAD SEED until most recently in 2009's ORPHAN. ORPHAN sticks out in the sub-genre because it had a twist no one saw coming - a twist that actually made sense and worked for the film's benefit. CASE 39 is more of a supernatural story, putting it in the same territory as 1973's THE EXORCIST and 1976's THE OMEN. Yes, Lilith is demonic and uses her victim's fears to cause them harm. We've seen films like this before and honestly, I have no problem with that the fact that it takes a pretty predictable route. After all, originality is hard to come by these days. But the filmmakers behind CASE 39 don't do anything to really make the film stand out, making it nothing really special.

The screenplay by Ray Wright, who wrote the English-language remake of 2006's PULSE and the remake of THE CRAZIES (2010), writes a pretty standard and predictable story. I feel bad for CASE 39 because while it was released in Europe last year before ORPHAN, it'll end up being remembered as a film that waited two years to be released in North America [a whole year after ORPHAN was released here]. CASE 39 really needed an interesting twist to make it live up to ORPHAN's twist. Unfortunately, the only explanation we get about Lilith is that she was born without a soul. Nothing more, nothing less. There's nothing about her being a demon. There's nothing about what her motivations are or how she ended up in the system to begin with. It's almost as if Wright forgot to give viewers an explanation for Lilith's actions and just stuck one on her at the last minute. It's even worse in that Lilith's powers of using people's fears against them to the point that they die is extremely interesting. But no one does any research or even tries to decipher who or what Lilith is until the very end, which by that point is way too late. I think if more thought was placed on Lilith's supernatural abilities, CASE 39 would have been a stronger and way more effective film. Instead, it just feels like the same old, same old.

Plus, what was the issue with phone calls? You're telling me a demon needs to call someone first before they can do bad things to them? It's like ONE MISSED CALL all over again, and I don't need those kind of bad memories resurfacing! I just thought it was really silly and it's purpose is never explained. It could have been creepy if something was done with this subplot.

And the ending is just ridiculous. I won't spoil it, but all I could ask myself was "That was it? All that build up for THAT??" Not only can you see it coming, but it's illogical and not executed well at all. The finale is very lame.

That's not to say that Wright writes a horrible script. As a matter of fact, it's not all that bad. It's just not all that memorable either. The film has a decent structure. While it could have used more character development, at least there is some. And the dialogue isn't terrible either. In fact, I enjoyed the fact that we sympathize with Lilith in the first half of the film where she plays victim, creating a jarring effect when her true colors begin to appear. And I also thought it was ironic that the child social workers who did good deeds were the ones being punished. It was almost as if Wright really had a dislike for these workers because not even the good ones escaped unscathed. I know a lot of people lost respect for child social workers in the past few years. If Wright had done more with that, CASE 39 could have probably been a more inspired and interesting movie.

The direction by German-born director Christian Alvart, who directed ANTIBODIES (2005) and PANDORUM (2009) is actually pretty good. It has a subtle mood and creepy atmosphere at times, and the film looks quite polished. Maybe a bit too polished. I do think Alvart took a weak script and tried to compensate for it with a balance of visceral visuals and psychological themes. A scene where Lilith turns Doug's words around on him during a counseling session is pretty chilling at times. There's another moment where Emily is stuck inside an elevator that quickly plummets but ends up being nothing but an illusion that ends up being visually stimulating. I also think my favorite moment is where Emily locks herself in a room and something suddenly bangs on her door, smashing the hinges and throwing the furniture barricading the door to the side. We expect this vicious monster to appear, but it's just normal Lilith smiling at Emily and wondering why she's hiding under a bed. More moments like this could have been done because they really worked. But the studio had Alvart by the balls and he had to play by the rules. But I'm sure if he had his way, the visuals for CASE 39 would have made an uninspired script more inspired. By the way, CASE 39 does use CGI to reveal Lilith's demonic appearance, as well as for some of the murder sequences [in particular one dealing with a swarm of hornets]. Let's just say it probably would have been better if it was more implied rather than seen.

The acting is decent. Renee Zellweger was okay, I guess. She's never really impressed me as an actress and CASE 39 doesn't change that. She does manage to carry a level of empathy and terror that makes the character work for most of the film. But I do think a much better actress would have brought out more in the character. Still, Zellweger has come a long way from 1994's THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION. Bradley Cooper and Ian McShane do well in their extended cameo roles. Cooper had the best fear sequence and McShane took a nothing role and gave it some depth. I wish they were in the film more. The star here is Jodelle Ferland as Lilith. She's cute and creepy at the same time. I thought she did a nice job giving subtlety to a menacing role.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE KEEPING MY FEARS TO MYSELF

- As a social worker, Emily is in charge of a lot of cases. That's quite a COLD MOUNTAIN of paperwork to look through.

- Lilith's parents tried to bake her in an oven. I knew their traumatic childhood episode would turn Hansel and Gretel into murderers! And aren't Hansel and Gretel brother and sister? Ew....

- A child murdered his parents with a hatchet as they slept. If they refused his request for an increased allowance, then they were probably axe-ing for it.

- Lilith threatened Doug during their therapy session. She must have seen ALL ABOUT STEVE. It's understandable.

- Doug constantly had hornets coming out of his ears, eyes, nose, and mouth. Now I see why some of the women and men consider him the Bee's Knees.

- Lilith knew she wanted to destroy Emily's life once she saw that Emily was a good person and cared about her. She had her at hello. She had her at hello!

- Don't piss off Lilith in an elevator. She'll probably give you the shaft. Literally.

- Lilith's father, under delusions, murdered his Asian cellmate. What a bastard! If anyone was going to create a foolproof escape plan, it would have been him!

- A vicious dog murdered one of the characters. You'd think the dog would be happy after the Asian was killed!

THE FINAL HOWL
CASE 39 isn't a horrible film, but it's not a movie you'll end up remembering or talking about much once it's over. It had the potential to be something good, yet it comes off as lazy at times and overly predictable. Still, it has decent direction and acting so it may be worth your time if you're into this kind of movie. I wouldn't spend money on a movie ticket for CASE 39, but it's not bad for a rental when the DVD is released.

SCORE
2 Howls Outta 4

DIRECTED BY
D.J. Caruso

STARRING
Shia LeBeouf - Jerry Shaw/Ethan Shaw
Michelle Monaghan - Rachel Holloman
Rosario Dawson - Agent Zoe Perez
Billy Bob Thornton - Agent Thomas Morgan
Michael Chiklis - Defense Secretary Callister

Genre - Action/Thriller

Running Time - 118 Minutes

Score - 2 Howls Outta 4


There are people who we can't see who are watching out every move. Whether we're walking, driving, eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom - our private lives are becoming more public. This is due to the advancement in modern technology, especially when it comes to cameras and now cellphones that can record photos and videos. We see it all the time - from reality shows, to those programs that show police chases and outrageous moments, to the massive popularity of YouTube and others like it. While new technology is great, the negatives are becoming more obvious. It appears our future society will be increasingly voyeuristic.

But what if this technology boom goes to a place where it's able to control our every move and our every word via threats on our lives? Can computers really grow a brain and indulge in the corruption of power? The Steven Spielberg produced EAGLE EYE attempts to answer that question. While there's much to see in EAGLE EYE, the reasons as to why you should are very limited.

PLOT
Jerry Shaw (Shia LeBeouf) is your typical slacker who happens to be a Stanford University dropout who works at a copy store. While dealing with his twin brother's, Ethan's, death, he finds out he has about $750,000 in his ATM account. Yeah, this sounds awesome - until he returns home to find a whole bunch of illegal weapons and bomb making material that most terrorists would envy to own. All of a sudden, Jerry starts receiving phone calls from a female voice (an uncredited Julianne Moore) telling if that if he doesn't escape his apartment in 30 seconds, the feds will arrest him. Jerry listens and goes on the run.

At the same time, a single mother named Rachel (Michelle Monaghan) sends her son on a trip for some band camp thing. While hanging out with her friends, her "son" calls her. The caller happens to be the same caller who's haunting Jerry, making the two meet each other and carry out its dirty work. Along the way, FBI Agents Thomas Morgan (Billy Bob Thornton) and Zoe Perez (Rosario Dawson) attempt to hunt Jerry and Rachel down, until they finally learn that technology has completely taken over humankind.

REVIEW
Eh. That's really how to describe EAGLE EYE. Sure it has actions and thrills, but underneath it all is an extremely flawed and convoluted story that deteriorates as soon as it reaches the last half. This is the type of film where the brain will need to be turned off if you want to really enjoy this. Say what you want about Michael Bay action flicks, but at least they have some sort of story that works along with the action. This one really has none.

EAGLE EYE pretty much takes devices used by other films such as TERMINATOR, NORTH BY NORTHWEST, 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, and so on - puts them in a blender and attempts to create a coherent action film. And as much as there is a smudge of an attempt of social commentary about the negatives of technology in the future [which has been done to death by the films I mentioned above - and done BETTER], EAGLE EYE is no George Orwell's 1984. The story has too many flaws to overlook and it just nags at you throughout the 2 hour running time [which feels a half hour too long in itself]. Seriously, why would such a superior technological entity who is able to control every technological device in the free world want humans to help it rule the world by dragging them through such a wild goose chase? Why would it need slaves if it can work itself? Couldn't the computer just taken over the world without anyone really knowing and made things easier for itself? Why play God? It makes no friggin' sense if you really think about it. Even the computer's main goal was ridiculous and illogical. HAL 9000 could kick this bitch's ass! Sure, we get decent action sequences out of it, but that doesn't create suspense or thrills. Especially when we barely know who the main characters are or why they happened to be chosen for this role. There's no real character development at all here for anyone in this film. I thought the supercomputer controlling them all had more personality than the humans. Without a level of intimacy and understanding who these characters are, why should we care what happens to them? Because it could happen to us? Big deal. I'd probably be two steps ahead of this supercomputer and figure how to stop it before any of these idiots would. Any thinking person would be able to figure it all out fairly quickly. Or anyone who has seen TERMINATOR anyway. It's amazing that FOUR screenwriters scripted this movie, yet nothing about the film was remotely original. Wow.

Like I said, the action is pretty good. Cars explode. Military hardware is used alot. There's a nighttime chase. Nothing that we haven't seen before. At least the action is entertaining somewhat and the film never really slows down to bore you. It looks good. Nothing more I can really say about it.

D.J. Caruso, who also directed Shia LeBeouf in the much better DISTURBIA, tries to emulate what Michael Bay has done in all of his action films and only mildly succeeding. The film looks polished. The action sequences are shot well. But the shaky-cam effect is in the house again, as well as a lot of unneeded closeups, and quick cuts. And unlike in DISTURBIA, there is no suspense or tension at all here. Someone needs to tell the dude that showing shit exploding on screen doesn't substitute two important elements in a thriller. When an action film doesn't display any amount of heart and soul and just ends up being cold and standoffish, what's the point?

The acting is what you would expect from this great cast. Nothing surprising here. Shia LeBeouf plays Shia LeBeouf again, but with facial hair to make him look older. The guy is a good actor and he's likeable in every film he's in, but the guy needs to join Ellen Page and try a new act. It's getting pretty boring by now. Let's end the typecasting now, Shia. Michelle Monaghan is cute but doesn't do much for me here, honestly. She plays her role well enough but never takes it to the next level. She and LeBeouf don't have romantic chemistry, which isn't needed here anyway, but they don't share much on-screen buddy chemistry either. I dunno...the two just didn't click for me. Billy Bob Thornton plays the same imbrasive character he normally plays, but it's more subdued while still being slightly funny. He's really the highlight of the film in his federal agent role. Rosario Dawson does enough with the material she's given. And Michael Chiklis is totally wasted here as the Secretary of Defense. He disappears for like half the film before popping up again to remind everyone he's still part of the story. Um, okay. And is that Ethan Embry I saw? Why is this dude not getting meatier roles?

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE BREAKING MY EVIL CELL PHONE FOR PLAYING "MY HEART WILL GO ON" AS A RINGTONE OVER AND OVER AGAIN

- Julianne Moore is the voice of the supercomputer. Now I know who's behind all those annoying telemarketing calls I get. It's not my fault HANNIBAL sucked!

- The game Rock Band was advertised in the film. It only made me want to play Rock Band 2 rather than wasting my time watching this. At least my awesome vocal abilities on The Sweet's "Action!" are a lot more entertaining than any of the action in this film.

- Rachel's kid plays the trumpet. As a former trumpet player myself, he's already cool in my book. Unless he plays the human trumpet...then I can't really comment on that due to my lack of experience. Learn something from this, Sarah Palin!

THE FINAL HOWL
EAGLE EYE is crap. But it's entertaining crap that happens to manage itself into an average popcorn, dumb-as-rocks movie. While it made $30 million at the weekend box office, save your money for a much better movie. This one can wait until DVD, where it belongs. Let's pray these actors star in a much better film worthy of their talents because EAGLE EYE is mainly for the paycheck. Want the corruption of technology? Watch 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. Want to be Paris Hilton for two hours? Watch EAGLE EYE. The choice is yours.

SHATTERED (a.k.a. BUTTERFLY ON A WHEEL) (2007)

DIRECTED BY

Mike Barker

STARRING

Pierce Brosnan - Tom Ryan

Maria Bello - Abby Randall

Gerard Butler - Neil Randall

Emma Karwandy - Sophie Randall

Claudette Mink - Judy

3 Howls Outta 4

The perfect family: husband & wife, 2.5 kids, the house with the white picket fence - most of us try very hard to have that kind of life once we settle down. But what happens if a stranger just steps into our lives and threatens to take that away because of some deep, dark secret you've been keeping? Would you do everything in your power to reveal your secret to save the people you love, even if it might cause you to lose them at the end? Or does the secret mean more to you than your family? In the straight-to-DVD released SHATTERED, distributed by Lions Gate, you may be bound to find out while experience many twists and turns before you get the answer.

PLOT

Abby (Maria Bello) and Neil Randall (Gerard Butler) seem to be the perfect married couple. They have a beautiful daughter (Emma Karwandy), a big house in Chicago, and enough money to go away on vacation for a weekend. However, that perfection begins to flaw when a stranger named Tom Ryan (Pierce Brosnan) enters their lives, taking them hostage and threatening to murder their daughter, who an associate has kidnapped. For about 24 hours, Tom keeps the couple at bay, torturing them and making them do things they don't want to do but need to in order to save their daughter. Eventually, the whole thing is leading to Tom wanting Neil to kill someone for him - in exchange for his daughter's life.

REVIEW

SHATTERED, which was known as BUTTERFLY ON A WHEEL [a reference to Alexander Pope's "Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot"], is probably the best straight-to-DVD feature distributed by Lions Gate Entertainment so far. This pretty entertaining thriller/mystery was definitely made for the movie theatres, but something must have happened along the way for it to end up straight on a disc. It's too bad because this film has a lot of star power, who bring good performances to make an implausible situation actually seem believable.

SHATTERED is a hard film to review. It's the kind of film that if you really dig deep and talk about certain aspects, it may spoil and ruin the experience for someone who hasn't seen it yet. I don't want to do that, so I won't talk about the story and the characters. I will say that the film is very heavy on twists and turns until it reaches its resolution. Yes, this is very common in most modern thrillers these days but the twists actually make the film and are actually quite entertaining. I won't say whether the resolution is satisfying or not [I liked it personally], but it'll definitely make you think.

The direction by Mike Barker is very good. The film starts off very slow but picks up once Brosnan is introduced, and it pretty much doesn't let up. It builds and builds and builds as the films tries to trick you with things you may or may not have seen coming. Nice use of angles, lighting, and close-up reaction shots truly benefit the film's visual style. You're never bored and the cinematography by Ashley Rowe is beautiful. Barker truly tries to get the viewer emotionally involved with the characters, making us wonder what we would do in their shoes. The morals of people are questioned here and I thought the visual did a good job making that clear.

The acting is very good here as well. The acting by Pierce Brosnan especially, who dumps everything that was suave and cool as James Bond, and pretty much plays an immoral character who suffers from sociopathic tendecies for reasons I don't want to bring up right now. Brosnan has done great work as of late in recent films and this one is no exception. It was kind of weird seeing him as the antogonist since he's known for his good guy roles. Also, his accent was either Irish or Scottish, and didn't sound as British as Bond's. Just an interesting character change for the actor that I appreciated. Maria Bello and Gerard Butler also do well as the supporting cast, as their characters were pretty much going through the emotional wringer most of the film. Bello is solid as always and is quite believable in her performance. Butler had an issue with his accent with me, as I wasn't sure if he was American or European or what. His accent going in and out and it took something away from his performance. But for the most part, he convinced me that was capable of more than just being Lara Croft's sidekick, a phantom of an opera, or a spartan.

I also had issues with some of the twists. While I enjoyed them, I thought that the resolution really didn't explain their plausibility enough. It seemed like some were shot one way and by the end, shown at a completely different angle that didn't match to what was shown before. But then again, you gotta make your story work. Sometimes bullshit is a nice easy way out.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE BEING TAKEN HOSTAGE BY THIS FILM

1. If you wake up at the middle ofthe night and your husband is not in bed with you, he's either working hard, screwing a younger version of you, or working hard screwing a younger version of you. Either way, you're not too important in his life.

2. Don't be a handsome smug executive who acts innocent while stealing other people's opportunities at the same time. It will only bite you in the ass later on. Believe me, people have learned from the Amanda Woodward Epidemic of the 1990s.

3. Abby can't get enough of Neil. I guess she's just another in a line of women who really want to see if he's really the King of Sparta. Lucky bastard.

4. Abby wanted a younger nanny to take care of her daughter, Sophie. Has she not learned from Sienna Miller or Uma Thurman? Read the tabloids, girl!

5. Tom Ryan took Abby and Neil hostage. I guess losing the James Bond gig left him shaken, not stirred.

6. Tom Ryan claims to be God. Yeah, because DIE ANOTHER DAY was so heavenly...

7. If you tell a woman to do something, she'll do the exact opposite. And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high? All us men want is for a woman to listen to them. Is that so hard?

8. Does stress bring the ugly truth out of people?

Yeah, I guess.

That answer is....

::biting nails::

....

::shaking and sweating::

...TRUE.

9. Tom Ryan is getting annoyed by Neil's "big dick pride". How does he know about the size of his manhood? Look, I know Europeans are very comfortable with sex, but that's just a little weird...

10. Tom Ryan is making Neil's life a living hell. Maybe if Neil had kicked Tom into that big bottomless pit, none of this would be happening!

THE FINAL HOWL

SHATTERED is a pretty good thriller that deserved the silver screen treatment. Hell, if PERFECT STRANGER could get it, why shouldn't this much better film? Good-to-great performances, nice direction, a pretty entertaining story with nice twists and turns - I dug this film. It's far from perfect but it does enough well to be worth a watch. I wouldn't buy SHATTERED but I'd definitely rent it. You could do a lot worse with your free time than by watching this film.